100% personal opinion:
-rare always, and -rase 90% of the time, are not just 'dislikes', they're nauseating. As in, same ick level as necro or corpo (dead things, feces, no thank you).
Now: -ri has wiggle room. If it's a 'LI's partner is a dick' and you're winning her over, it can be done in such a way that it's okay, even good.
but if that involves 'make him watch', where I think the goal is 'someone else's suffering makes my dick hard', I just don't think i'm wired for that.
(I can't do noncon, violence, or rape either.) If I am into a scene/game/story, it is because of the heat in the chest, tightness, can't breathe, desire and passion and love and connection. Hookups are okay, but in general, 'all parties have to be enjoying their time' is fair. Even in scenes where one character is 'bored', I'd rather they're not entirely disinterested only playing at it (flushed cheeks, whimpers without meaning to). Sounds silly but one of the main draws of IC content is the fact that it is usually a long-seated affection or love becoming more: the emotional connection is implied. Yes I fap to IC games for the feels, yes it's silly, yes rock-hard.
What has no place in this arrangement is "And there's a guy in the corner feeling like shit/whining/crying/sobbing/screaming". Or "put your point of contact in their face" or " tie them up and KEEP them in the corner like a dog" or "now go home to your man dripping...". For me, making someone else hurt is not something I get off to. Someone's anguish or suffering is, for me, like sprinkling dog shit on pasta: not even a spice i don't like, it's not FOOD.
Now IF the guy is utter trash, and IF it's a 'you lost, goodbye', and IF he's not like breathing on MC's junk, it can be played in a way that feels right: payback for actual crappiness. If the person being shamed has been violent or cheated or hurt somebody or is GUILTY of something, then the whole scene is a kind of 'deserved punishment'. But if it's just "he's absent" or "he's not a REAL man" or "he's short" or unmanly or whatever... I don't set 'inadequacy' on the same level as 'deserves to suffer'. Also: IF the person being 'cucked' is also someone I'm into, and the 'cucking' is more an 'invitation' or audition - if the end result is everyone's gravy at the end - that can be resolved. But even so that's more a 'working around' the NTR and not 'main course is' NTR. The LIs in the harem warming each other up for you/with you doesn't violate any consent and isn't done to cause suffering or anguish, so in my head that's not even in the same cabinet. That's just Group Sex.
For content: Just... just tell me upfront if it's there, what 'variant', and if it's skippable. So many negative reactions and fights could be resolved if this was explicitly stated from the jump.
For game devs and NTR lovers, you have to realize this is not just 'dislike' for a lot of us, it's sickening. It's not, for me, a 'well i'll skip past', it's a 'ruins the game, ruins the night, dick deflated, fuck the universe' kind of thing.
Yes this might seem silly if it's your thing, but know it's not a minor issue with a lot of people.
Set it on the shelf with the same Big No-Nos as rape, guro, scat, beast: even if you don't personally understand the big deal, it IS a big deal to a lot of folks.
I also like where, in games with it being optional, there's just a lockout completely. Don't even want to see the option.
It is a shame (for me) when the dev has incredibly good art or writing, but then the NTR bus rolls up and parks on my left nut. I understand not everything can make everybody happy, and that it's not fair to demand other people who have opposing tastes can't have stuff for them. But IF you can manage to include it as optional, that's groovy, as nobody is left out. IF you're a dev who wants the broadest appeal, think of it like different flavors of cola: having the option means more sales. if you can manage the work of making two versions, if you have people saying "this looks great, but...", if your story allows a way around the NTR (and, of course, that's to your own tastes), including an option is like more flavors of the same brand.
I think the issue with it in games/comics/art/animation is a matter of LABELS. If 'spicy' food is labeled spicy, people who like it can find it, people who don't like it know to pass it by. I actualy appreciate when it's just in the title directly, no surprises. I think I'd also like if the suffix was explicity: netoRARE is a hell no for me, pure squick; netoRARE is almost always overpowering unless part of a REALLY well-made dish, netoRI is an aquired taste but if the dish REALLY calls for it, it has a place. But just seeing "NTR", alone, really tells me nothing. So: please label stuff, or include in descriptions; and please let me know what variant. It means more folks might give your stuff a shot, and that feels worth writing a few more words to me.
Again, 100% My Own Thing, and if it's NTR is Very Very Your Thing, that's A-OK. That means Your Thing and My Thing don't get along, so let's keep them apart so we can all hang out. But most people who dislike it will probably tell you it's not a minor dislike; it's a huge one. "Ruin-my-week and give me nightmares" tier. (Which... crap is that part of the kink? Other users getting squicked?) Anyway: Handle it like it's that volatile, and you'll likely have more people trying it than otherwise. If you read all this, thanks. If you disagree completely, okay. But this has been one overthinker's perspective.
Toots McGoots, go shot your shoots
PS/EDIT: Yes, sorry, there's more to this (looks up) fucking essay, apparently.
Another thing stood out: Having a girl, say, getting her girlfriend to fuck you while she jills off to it, I like. And I think the reason I like it is I like to look at girls getting off. If this is a whole 'and then she joins in' (now or later), fuck yeah. So in the 'guy wants you to bang his girl', even if he likes it... I don't wanna see some dude spanking it. Even if he and she both dig it... it's still focusing less on the 'what I'm doing' and more on 'what that person I don't find attractive is doing'. A prelude to a polycule, a 'lets see how you handle my girl' from a girl, a 'let's convert my lesbian girlfriend so we can group bang' don't pose an issue, again because it's not being done to cause pain or to get off on anguish. If it's a dude who wants his girl to bang... well if I liked dudes maybe I'd feel a different way. It's not 'ick' because it's what they're into and nobody suffers, in that instance it's just a flavor I'm not into, though. I understand this is one variant of N-T-something-involving-R, but it doesn't feel the same for me. Sorry for the even-more-ness.