Any culinary fruit on pizza is a crime against humanity.
Article:
WIKIPURRDIA: PINEAPPUL ON PIZZA
(Da Forbidden Toppin)
Pineappul on pizza iz da most controversial food in da hooman universe.Some hoomans sez “yum,” but Ceiling Cat sez:
“DIS IZ ULTRA COSMIC NO.”
Nonna sez:“Why u do dis.Why u hurt me like dis.”
Da hooman who invented pineappul on pizza did an
ULTRA SOOPER STOOPID.
Becuz of dis,
Ceiling Cat sent him 2 da sub sub swub sub sub basement, where da wallz haz giant glowing red letterz dat sez:
“Y U DO DIS?”
He iz da only hooman 2 ever be sentenced wifout trial.Da crime wuz obvious.
Dis article iz protected becuz hoomans keep tryin 2 add:
- “it not dat bad”
- “I like it actually”
- “Hawaiian pizza is good”
All of which iz
culinary lies.
Ceiling Cat haz ruled:
“Dis iz sooper no.”
Nonna haz ruled:
“Get outta my kitchen.”
Italy
If u ask 4 pineappul on pizza in Italu, u r:
- persona non grata
- banned frum da restraunt
- banned frum da town
- banned frum da country
- banned frum da hole EU
Nonna will appear on balcony and shout:
“GIT OWT UV ITALY.”
EU
Da EU Council of Nonnas haz declared pineappul on pizza a
pan‑European sauce crime.
Offenders r sent 2:
DA INFINITY SWUB BASEMENT
Da deepest basement tier, where:
- da marinara boilz in reverse
- da pasta iz always overcooked
- da wallz glow red wif “Y U DO DIS” in 24 languages
- da Nonna dartboard iz canon
- da air smellz like shame and oregano
see also:
- Ketchup on Pasta (Da Forbidden Sauce)
- Microtranzakshunz (Da Bad Moniez Buttonz)
- Ceiling Cat’s List of Ultra Sooper Stoopidz
- Basement Codex: Punishmint Tierz