We telling cat stories? Okay, I don't have a great cat story but I do have a good cat scissor statement.
I'm at a friend's house. I've gotten up from my seat (picture a dinner table seat, not a sofa or something, this is important) for some reason and come back to it. I find that one of the house cats has jumped into my seat. Several of the cat lovers present start cooing about, "Oh she goes where she wants! She's got your seat."
I wordlessly grab the back of the chair and start leeeeaning it forward, tipping it at an ever increasing angle until the cat, looking at me with resentment, jumps to the floor and runs off. I sit back down. Am I:
1. Psychotic cat-hating monster, you got to be gentle with them man, just be patient.
2. Totally reasonable, if a cat is in your way nudge the cat the side gently but make it clear humans are fifteen times heavier than cats are, they move out of our way that's how the world works.