discussion On Hold VN Ren'Py DAZ Daddy's Angel [v0.8.1b] [Gore Games]

[JohnDough]

I'm confused. it's not a bad game, it's just weird.
the dialogues and interactions feel so random and sudden, my best guess is if it's not early ai, it must have been written in a severe fever dream.
but again, not a bad game. let's see what the next updates will bring

 

[Onion1sgood]

Well it pulled me in with the title, I guess I will give it a peek regardless of the comments this time.

 

[mrbobby]

Well it pulled me in with the title, I guess I will give it a peek regardless of the comments this time.

sadly you can easily wait a good few more updates, there really isn't much here still, and it's an odd one, if you're on a pay pr MB download wait, even if you're not you will not be missing much for the entire content as of current patch v0.4.1 there are about 4 tiny tit pics and 2 or 3 f/f kissing if you choice, and that's about it, also like others have mentioned, the daughter looks like she is in constant mental pain, and the story reads more like dad" is a ghost and she is just imagining him, whilst suffering from PTSD and Stockholm syndrome

 

[goregames]

sadly you can easily wait a good few more updates, there really isn't much here still, and it's an odd one, if you're on a pay pr MB download wait, even if you're not you will not be missing much for the entire content as of current patch v0.4.1 there are about 4 tiny tit pics and 2 or 3 f/f kissing if you choice, and that's about it, also like others have mentioned, the daughter looks like she is in constant mental pain, and the story reads more like dad" is a ghost and she is just imagining him, whilst suffering from PTSD and Stockholm syndrome

So that you know, this is my 2nd game, so obviously it won't be THAT good OR amazing, I try. As others have mentioned, yes, the story can be confusing with the writing, my vocabulary isn't great because I don't know any kind of posh/fancy words, it all comes from my tiny brain.

 

[mrbobby]

So that you know, this is my 2nd game, so obviously it won't be THAT good OR amazing, I try. As others have mentioned, yes, the story can be confusing with the writing, my vocabulary isn't great because I don't know any kind of posh/fancy words, it all comes from my tiny brain.

i kind of have a feeling some things here are getting lost in translation, you don't need posh or fancy words to make a good story, but it probably would be a good idea to make a plan for what directions you want to take your story in general for most of the story or at least a brought idea for the story in general, also there are quite a few good YouTubers making instructions videos on how to format a story, i don't know how much experience you have had with the other VNs especial adult VNs but you really don't need posh or fancy words, you're not going to find many greater works of art in this line of works, what's important is to make a story that is just good enough to keep people immersed in the world you've created and write the story you want to make,
and if any hater has called you "tiny brain", just ignore them, you will never be able to make everybody happy, enough will like your work if you can just keep them interested

 

[illusionjug]

In all honesty, there's a lot of room for improvement. The dialogue, conveying the story, consistency, expressions & atmosphere (pretty lifeless right now, feels kinda empty), and there's a lot of confusion that needs clearing up. Choices are also a bit strange.. MC likes X person, but keeps going against the flow. Gets attention, turns the tables. And this can be further amplified by the player choices.. ?

Jenny on the other hand has too ambiguous character. Treats the MC pretty poorly and is clearly not interested in anything romantical. Then she's interested in her father. Then out of the blue, she becomes very interested in MC and while she's normally "free-spirited" and does whatever she wants, she suddenly shifts to being insecure and borderline shy. As for the trash-bin thing.. I don't have any clue what that is about and can't really say that I want to know either. It just feels like unintentionally comical and kinda weird.

Backstory is nearly non-existent, but there's a seemingly important plot (which seems okay so far). There's some suspense around the plot and I think that's a good thing, but it could use a bit of polishing.
I realize that all of this may sound harsh, but it's not my intention to degrade your work. I can't say that I like the game, but I do appreciate the effort and that's why I'm trying to point out the areas that (in my opinion) need to be improved.

I would say that planning is a very important aspect when creating a game, and consistency across all areas is a close second. Adding some elements that can capture people's attention would be nice. Same goes for the ability for people to relate to the story (very hard to do at this stage), and invoking interest & caring about characters. They're too generic and a bit stale at the moment so I doubt that a lot of people find them likeable.

In all fairness, creating a game takes a lot of work. Creating a good one takes even more. Don't rush it if you're aiming for quality content. One step at the time. Give each element it's due attention and your work will improve monumentally.
These are just my thoughts on the subject, and some advice that's meant to be constructive. I would suggest starting with building each character's personality a bit more so that they stand out, but that's just me.

Either way, keep learning and don't give up. Best of luck!

 

[SerjSerger]

Well, 5 min of weird gameplay. And it's 0.4 version. I imagine what was in 0.1 version, like 30 sec of gameplay...

 

[CF432]

In all honesty, there's a lot of room for improvement. The dialogue, conveying the story, consistency, expressions & atmosphere (pretty lifeless right now, feels kinda empty), and there's a lot of confusion that needs clearing up. Choices are also a bit strange.. MC likes X person, but keeps going against the flow. Gets attention, turns the tables. And this can be further amplified by the player choices.. ?

Jenny on the other hand has too ambiguous character. Treats the MC pretty poorly and is clearly not interested in anything romantical. Then she's interested in her father. Then out of the blue, she becomes very interested in MC and while she's normally "free-spirited" and does whatever she wants, she suddenly shifts to being insecure and borderline shy. As for the trash-bin thing.. I don't have any clue what that is about and can't really say that I want to know either. It just feels like unintentionally comical and kinda weird.

Backstory is nearly non-existent, but there's a seemingly important plot (which seems okay so far). There's some suspense around the plot and I think that's a good thing, but it could use a bit of polishing.
I realize that all of this may sound harsh, but it's not my intention to degrade your work. I can't say that I like the game, but I do appreciate the effort and that's why I'm trying to point out the areas that (in my opinion) need to be improved.

I would say that planning is a very important aspect when creating a game, and consistency across all areas is a close second. Adding some elements that can capture people's attention would be nice. Same goes for the ability for people to relate to the story (very hard to do at this stage), and invoking interest & caring about characters. They're too generic and a bit stale at the moment so I doubt that a lot of people find them likeable.

In all fairness, creating a game takes a lot of work. Creating a good one takes even more. Don't rush it if you're aiming for quality content. One step at the time. Give each element it's due attention and your work will improve monumentally.
These are just my thoughts on the subject, and some advice that's meant to be constructive. I would suggest starting with building each character's personality a bit more so that they stand out, but that's just me.

Either way, keep learning and don't give up. Best of luck!

I whole heartly agree with everything above, but want to add one point. Creating a interesting story with one main character can already be difficult, but you, miss gore, are trying to create a story with multiple main characters and a second string of story on the side, which overcomplicates the whole writing. Please try to focus and lay down the overall story and then create the renders and dialouges around it.

 

[I'm me]

I whole heartly agree with everything above, but want to add one point. Creating a interesting story with one main character can already be difficult, but you, miss gore, are trying to create a story with multiple main characters and a second string of story on the side, which overcomplicates the whole writing. Please try to focus and lay down the overall story and then create the renders and dialouges around it.

Honestly didn't seem overly complicated to me. Controlling dad is spying on his daughter which makes her paranoid and think she's imagining shit. As for the secondary story, could be wrong but to me it seems controlling dad set up Felicia's mother to get her out the way. If that's the case it fits perfectly into the main story and shows what her dad is like. Actually nice to see something different than just dad fucks his daughter.

 

[Vlbc]

Can we choose the character's POV we want to play or it's auternated?

(Particularly i would prefer to play as the father)

 

[goregames]

Can we choose the character's POV we want to play or it's auternated?

(Particularly i would prefer to play as the father)

You'll maybe get a "player-choice" as the father.

 

[CarolusRex]

Hmmmm... Already at 0.4.x and nothing worth of interest has happened. Think I will wait until 0.9x or something...

 

[ilovetraps]

Ending said I beat CH2 pt2 but where is CH2 pt1 and CH1? Did I miss something?

 

[goregames]

Ending said I beat CH2 pt2 but where is CH2 pt1 and CH1? Did I miss something?

The ending credits get removed for older versions.

 

[Powndwagon]

Sorry to say, but this was absolute rubbish.

Story and dialogue made no sense, no sex. Nice graphics though.

 

[Lefty]

So that you know, this is my 2nd game, so obviously it won't be THAT good OR amazing, I try. As others have mentioned, yes, the story can be confusing with the writing, my vocabulary isn't great because I don't know any kind of posh/fancy words, it all comes from my tiny brain.

I am getting ready to give this one a go, reading posts as it downloads, and came across this one. I know it's an older post, but I don't see anyone giving you this particular bit of advice.

When it comes to dialog, don't sweat using "posh/fancy" words. Keep your language simple. If it's how you would say it, then that's how your character should say it. Don't use a $5 word when a ten cent one would work.

 

[0bora]

I would say: give more brightness to pictures ... as they are, they send a sickness feeling
10X

 

[Nemerof]

Hello, A French translation is available here if you wish.

 

[goregames]

Honestly didn't seem overly complicated to me. Controlling dad is spying on his daughter which makes her paranoid and think she's imagining shit. As for the secondary story, could be wrong but to me it seems controlling dad set up Felicia's mother to get her out the way. If that's the case it fits perfectly into the main story and shows what her dad is like. Actually nice to see something different than just dad fucks his daughter.

Spoiler

You're on the right track by saying this.

 

[goregames]

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