Who's got jokes?
- Thread starter e6mill
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2 Years of Service
a little girl sees her mother go into the bathroom to get a shower and asks, "Can I join?", yes says the mother.
after a few minutes, the girl asks her mom, what is that, pointing at her breasts.
the mom says, "Breasts dear" and "The girl asks will get those?", and the mother responds, "Yes dear when you're older"
the next day the girl sees her dad go into the shower and asks to join, the dad lets her, she then looks down and sees his penis and asks, "what's that?" and the dad responds, "its a penis dear?"
and the girl asks, "Will I get one of those? and the dad awnsers
"yup just as soon as your mother goes to bingo"
after a few minutes, the girl asks her mom, what is that, pointing at her breasts.
the mom says, "Breasts dear" and "The girl asks will get those?", and the mother responds, "Yes dear when you're older"
the next day the girl sees her dad go into the shower and asks to join, the dad lets her, she then looks down and sees his penis and asks, "what's that?" and the dad responds, "its a penis dear?"
and the girl asks, "Will I get one of those? and the dad awnsers
"yup just as soon as your mother goes to bingo"
3 Years of Service
Its too long. I will just let Gilbert Gottfried tell it:
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3 Years of Service
kid to her mom: mom? why does my sisters have nicer names then me?
mom to her kid: because your sister "sunshine" was made at the beach and you sister "rain" was made in a warm summer rain. now shut up "broken condom".
mom to her kid: because your sister "sunshine" was made at the beach and you sister "rain" was made in a warm summer rain. now shut up "broken condom".
3 Years of Service
A guy takes a walk along the beach every day. Well, one day there's a woman there with no arms and no legs crying. He asks her what's wrong. She tells him she's never even been hugged by a man. So he hugs her to make her fell better. Next day she's there crying again. He asks what's the matter and she says she's never been kissed. He says "fine" and kisses her. Next day she's there crying again. He's getting tired of it so he's like "jeez, lady what's wrong now?" She tells him she's never been fucked. So he throws her out into the ocean as far as he can and says "well, lady - you're fucked now!"
U
Son: Dad stop you're not funny, you don't make jokes.
Dad: I made you
Dad: I made you
U
After a horrible summer Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
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I only seem to get sick on weekdays. I must have a weekend immune system.
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My friend was showing me his tool shed and pointed to a ladder. “That's my stepladder,” he said. "I never knew my real ladder.”
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Why is it so cheap to throw a party at a haunted house? Because the ghosts bring all the boos.
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I don’t get why Marvel doesn’t use the Hulk to advertise more. He’s basically one big Banner.
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Which days are the strongest? Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays.
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My wife asked me the other day where I got so much candy. I said, "I always have a few Twix up my sleeve."
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What's the difference between a well-dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly-dressed man on a bicycle? Attire.
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I hate my job—all I do is crush cans all day. It’s soda pressing.
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My hotel tried to charge me ten dollars extra for air conditioning. That wasn’t cool.
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I was never breast feed, my mother said she only liked me as a friend.
U
If I ever find the doctor who screwed up my limb replacement surgery…I’ll kill him with my bear hands.
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