discussion Dad Jokes thread! There should be a Dad jokes thread.

[User_111887]

I wasn’t close to my father when he died. Which is lucky because he stepped on a landmine.

I tried to explain to my 4-year-old son that it’s perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants. But he’s still making fun of me.

My dad died because he couldn’t remember his blood type. He kept insisting we “be positive,” but it’s just so hard without him.

A son tells his father, “I have an imaginary girlfriend.” The father sighs and says, “You know, you could do better.” “Thanks Dad,” the son says. “That means a lot.” The father shakes his head and goes, “I was talking to your girlfriend.”

A father tells his son that he was adopted. “I want to meet my biological parents,” the son demands. “We are your biological parents,” the father responds. “Now pack up, the new ones will pick you up in twenty minutes.”

 

[offblest]

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: “Does this taste funny to you?”

 

[Emddyjem]

A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a bar. The rabbit says, "I think I might be a typo."

 

[kirito99]

I once composed a song about a tortilla, now it is more like a wrap.

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[fallfallen]

How do you keep an idiot in suspense?



I'll tell you later.

I'm still waiting!

 

[baselessaccusations]

What did Hitler say to his men before they got in their tanks?


Men, get in your tanks!

 

[Billie]

To the man in the wheelchair that stole my camouflage jacket... You can hide but you can't run.

 

[darqfybre]

Do you know how Canada got it's name? The first prime minister put all the letters of the alphabet in a bowl. He pulled the first letter out and said, "C eh". Then another, "N eh". And again, "D eh".

Don't lie, you got this from google.eh

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