discussion Anti-Social & Lurker - Hideout spot

[whydoineedto]

I'm not shaming anyone sexuality.

You implying that a sexual preference smells of insecure male heterosexuality is shaming, especially doing so after we replied to you about how sexual preferences are not hypocrisy. Nevermind the fact that I have never actually told you about mine, simply pointed out the flaw in your statement. You assumed and attacked.

You're totally overreacting.

Yeah, dismiss someone as overreacting. That's rich.

By the way, that's really funny to see your biased accusations when you're in the majority and dominant group (heteropatriarchy), which is the one which try to impose mandatory heterosexuality and male dominance to everyone for thousands of years. It's queer people who are constantly bullied, harassed and shamed for our sexuality.

That's a load of irrelevant bs if I've ever read it. Belonging to the majority or minority of a group doesn't give you carte blanche to be a dick.

No heterosexual is ever shamed for its sexuality which is considered normal and encourage by society.

And heterosexuals are shamed all the time by pushy queers that don't understand that not everyone has to be the same or like the same things as them. Like you did earlier. Just because it's not done in the same scale, doesn't mean it doesn't happen.

 

[uncbuck]

It's a bit hypocritical how there is many guys who want anal with girls but flee in fear if you go any close of their own asshole.

It's an irrational fear of judgement - ya never know till ya try ummmmmm maybe once

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[whydoineedto]

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hello fuckos

Hi Bonki, why are we whispering? Lets see if the chain can do it silent too...

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[sep7]

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[-Bonk-]

Hi Bonki, why are we whispering? Lets see if the chain can do it silent too...

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Hi Slummy, making sure the coast is clear. Ya know....all those assaults by the masked thugs. Hold on a se......



Ok, I'm armed and very dangerous now



Just a warning shot before i have to put them down......i need both hands for slumthing

 

[mime]

Almost as great as upskirt

I agree with you that upskirt is a great theme. Why do you think it was the theme of the day on September 13th?

And don't worry about missing a theme. I'll be repeating plenty of the good ones!

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I had a good starting point from @-Bonk-

 

[Squeeky]

how do you guys make anal work? it's never like in the adult films. how you explain to a lady you just want normal casual hook up and not some weird shit she apparently "wants to try" as if I'm gonna believe she never done that specific act 15 times already with 15 other people.

Damn that hit me just right. Giggled for over a minute.

Experiment with your own ass and you will see what's work and what doesn't.

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[mime]

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[Amman]

Just popping in to say hello, only have time to make a run on the bank.

 

[Sarya]

You implying that a sexual preference smells of insecure male heterosexuality is shaming, especially after doing so after we replied to you about how sexual preferences are not hypocrisy. Nevermind the fact that I have never actually told you about mine, simply pointed out the flaw in your statement. You assumed and attacked.


Yeah, dismiss someone as overreacting. That's rich.


That's a load of irrelevant bs if I've ever read it. Belonging to the majority or minority of a group doesn't give you carte blanche to be dick.

And heterosexuals are shamed all the time by pushy queers that don't understand that not everyone has to be the same or like the same things as them. Like you did earlier. Just because it's not done in the same scale, doesn't mean it doesn't happen.

You can be a man and do some anal stuff without being homosexual by the way (playing with toys for example). My first post got a lot of haha but i was half serious. Putting some plug in your ass is a good way to learn a bit about how anal work and things that can be used when doing this kind of stuff with a girl (if it hurts when you're doing it on yourself, it will hurt with a girl too, so learn to do better).

So the fact that heterosexual men are in power for thousands years is irrelevant? It's not, it shapes our whole culture and society. That's those thousands years of privileges that give you the right to call me a dick just because i take a critical stance.

Discrimination against queer people is still massive, according to all available data and sociology research: we have even more trouble than average to find job, house... In many countries, you can still go to jail or even get death penalty for this. Discrimination against heterosexual on the contrary is nonexistent.

 

[whydoineedto]

Just popping in to say hello, only have time to make a run on the bank.

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[Slumdum]

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Hi Slummy, making sure the coast is clear. Ya know....all those assaults by the masked thugs. Hold on a se......

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Ok, I'm armed and very dangerous now



Just a warning shot before i have to put them down......i need both hands for slumthing

We can't have any masked thugs running around... Suiting up then!
Testing the trigger... Seems to be good, okay!

I had a good starting point from @-Bonk-

Yeah, Bonki did a good job with them, then you did a good job putting them together!

Just popping in to say hello, only have time to make a run on the bank.

Hi Amman good to see...
Oh bye Amman, see you next time!

 

[mlpatreon2]

I agree with you that upskirt is a great theme. Why do you think it was the theme of the day on September 13th?

And don't worry about missing a theme. I'll be repeating plenty of the good ones!

You must be registered to see attachments

I had a good starting point from @-Bonk-

Himime. Keep the themes coming!

 

[Sarya]

By the way, my stance on sexuality is "as long as everyone give informed consent, anything goes", that's difficult to be more inclusive than that.

 

[BananaPrincess]

@-Bonk- @Xonia @Evil Surgeon
@Shawnchapp @Inyo @Teaspoon

Story Time.

Spoiler: Story Time. The Lewd Lurker Creature

Narrator: Gather around dear friends and let me tell you the legend of the Lewd Lurker creature.

Once upon a time in the village of Lewd there was peace and happiness, and a man
named Bonk lived happily with his beloved Slumdum. He had intended to marry her
and make Slum his wife. But deep in the forest of Lewd inside an old cabin
in the woods, lived a witch, and this witch was seeking revenge on the towns people
who once banished her coven.

So the witch devised a plan against the citizens of Lewd. And a monster was created
by a crazy mad Evil Surgeon who had dug up the corpses of the dead, and brought their
severed body parts before the powerful witch called Xonia. This creature was brought to life
with the powers of the necronomicon which was a spell book inked in blood and bound
in human flesh.

The creature had the sunglasses of Kavinsky, the ears of the goblin Flaming,
the fangs of the vampire Inyo, the head of the Swedish chef Conzibald, the eyes of the
Teaspoon, the scrotum of bloodheart the pirate, the hands of luciddream, the legs of racoon
Algeo, with just a pinch of Anon-670, all these body parts were stitched together by the
Evil Surgeon.

This creature was then given life by the Witch at the Surgeons laboratory and terrorized the
village of Lewd, and many villagers died, including the beloved Slumdum, in anger the
wise nobleman Bonk decided to fight the beast and destroy it! After a brutal
fight the wiseman Bonk vanquished the beast, but in the process lost his hand
in battle, he then buried the remains of the creature on a hilltop and placed
a cross as a marker above it.

But the old witch would not be defeated so easily, and she used her powers
and read from the Necronomican once again and brought the creature back from the dead, but the creature
required a sacrifice, so the evil surgeon with scalpel in hand killed the witch and gave the
body to the beast and it devoured the witch broom and all, now the creature was
far stronger than before as it had the powers of the witch Xonia. The creature began
terrorizing the village again, Bonk fought the creature but was no match with only one
hand, so Bonk went to his toolshed and attached a chainsaw to his hand, and also grabbed
his trusty shotgun which he nicknamed poonstick sorry I mean boomstick.

Bonk: Wait.....I kind of like the nickname poonstick, can we keep it?

Narrator: Fine then

So Bonk went to his toolshed and attached a chainsaw to his hand, and also grabbed
his trusty shotgun which he nicknamed PoonStick.


Slumdum: Wait......

Narrator: What?

Slumdum: Hey bonky name the shotgun after me!

Bonk: You want me to call it the Slumgun?

Slumdum: No....Call it the Slumstick.

Narrator: Seriously?

Slum: yeah call it the Slumstick!

Narrator: Well Bonk what are we calling it?

Bonk: I'm thinking, I'm thinking....

Narrator: Some time this century please!

Bonk: Yeah call it the Slumstick after my baby Slum!


So Bonk went to his toolshed and attached a chainsaw to his hand, and also grabbed
his trusty shotgun which he nicknamed the SlumStick.


Bonk fought the beast creature and after a long battle he shot it with the Slumstick and cut off
it's head with the chainsaw, but it re-attached it's own head, then the evil surgeon danced
in delight as he thought his creature was unstoppable, but Bonk had secretly devised a plan and
hired a hooker named StephanieD to put Xlax in the tea of the surgeon.

StephanieD: Seriously why do I got to be a damn hooker for?

Narrator: What do you want to be?

StephanieD: I'm a banana princess!

Narrator: Fine. Bonk had secretly devised a plan and hired a banana princess
named StephanieD to put Xlax in the tea of the surgeon,


StephanieD: excuse me mr. narrator

Narrator: What is it now?

StephanieD: I'm kind of confused, you see you put Xlax in the tea
of the evil surgeon.

Narrator: And?

StephanieD: And that's spelled like the name of the user on the lewd forum instead of the pills
that make you go poop.

Slumdum: She is right you know.

Bonk: Yeah I agree with Steph.

Narrator: Fine. And will you three do me a favor and stop interrupting
my story!

Slum: Sorry
Bonk: Sorry
StephanieD: Sorry

Narrator: Now where was I. Oh yes....
Bonk fought the beast creature and after a long battle he shot it and cut off it's head, but it
re-attached it's own head, then the evil surgeon danced in delight as he thought his creature
was unstoppable, but Bonk had secretly devised a plan and hired a banana princess
named StephanieD to put Ex-lax in the tea of the surgeon. Then he sent a village boy named
Shawneth Chappeth to the Surgeon's laboratory, and while the Surgeon was in the shitter,
the boy quickly grabbed the book and ran away and took it to the wise man Bonk.

Bonk the wiseman had the village boy Shawneth Chappeth to read the
words of the book to try and vanquish the creature, a giant portal opened,
and the portal sucked up the beast, but Bonk flew into the portal with it, and that
was the last anyone ever saw of the lewd lurker beast or the wiseman known as Bonk.

Evil Surgeon: Hey wait a minute

Narrator: What do you want?

Evil Surgeon: Why do I have to be the bad guy behind it all?
Why can't I be an innocent pawn and Underlord be the ultimate evil?

Narrator: Fine!

As it turns out it was the master plan of the Underlord who had
used brain washing techniques to control the evil surgeon and trick
him into doing his bidding. The End

StephanieD: Hey wait a minute...

Narrator: What is it now?

StephanieD: That Lewd creature sounds a lot like Slumdum's Guwnknime.

Narrator: Huh?

StephanieD: I think you copied the Lewd creature after it.

Narrator: No I didn't !

Slumdum: It does sound similar to my creature the Guwnknime.

Narrator: Bullshit!

Bonk: Don't you dare raise your voice at my baby slum!

Narrator: Screw you guys!

StephanieD: Don't make me get Conzibald!

Narrator: haha what's that old Swedish chef gonna do?

StephanieD: He'll drill some mole holes in your butt.

Narrator: What?

Conzibald: viggy, vingy, swingy, wiggy, viggy

Narrator: AHHHHHH get this crazy swede off of me!

StephanieD: Then you shouldn't have called me a hooker.

Narrator: But I apologized and fixed it.

StephanieD: Yeah...well I've been watching Cobra Kai on Netflix.

Narrator: What's that mean?

StephanieD: It means no mercy bitch! Fill the holes Conzi.

Narrator: NOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooo

The End

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[mlpatreon2]

Story Time.

Spoiler: Story Time. The Lewd Lurker Creature

Narrator: Gather around dear friends and let me tell you the legend of the Lewd Lurker creature.

Once upon a time in the village of Lewd there was peace and happiness, and a man
named Bonk lived happily with his beloved Slumdum. He had intended to marry her
and make Slum his wife. But deep in the forest of Lewd inside an old cabin
in the woods, lived a witch, and this witch was seeking revenge on the towns people
who once banished her coven.

So the witch devised a plan against the citizens of Lewd. And a monster was created
by a crazy mad Evil Surgeon who had dug up the corpses of the dead, and brought their
severed body parts before the powerful witch called Xonia. This creature was brought to life
with the powers of the necronomicon which was a spell book inked in blood and bound
in human flesh.

The creature had the sunglasses of Kavinsky, the ears of the goblin Flaming,
the fangs of the vampire Inyo, the head of the Swedish chef Conzibald, the eyes of the
Teaspoon, the scrotum of bloodheart the pirate, the hands of luciddream, the legs of racoon
Algeo, with just a pinch of Anon-670, all these body parts were stitched together by the
Evil Surgeon.

This creature was then given life by the Witch at the Surgeons laboratory and terrorized the
village of Lewd, and many villagers died, including the beloved Slumdum, in anger the
wise nobleman Bonk decided to fight the beast and destroy it! After a brutal
fight the wiseman Bonk vanquished the beast, but in the process lost his hand
in battle, he then buried the remains of the creature on a hilltop and placed
a cross as a marker above it.

But the old witch would not be defeated so easily, and she used her powers
and read from the Necronomican once again and brought the creature back from the dead, but the creature
required a sacrifice, so the evil surgeon with scalpel in hand killed the witch and gave the
body to the beast and it devoured the witch broom and all, now the creature was
far stronger than before as it had the powers of the witch Xonia. The creature began
terrorizing the village again, Bonk fought the creature but was no match with only one
hand, so Bonk went to his toolshed and attached a chainsaw to his hand, and also grabbed
his trusty shotgun which he nicknamed poonstick sorry I mean boomstick.

Bonk: Wait.....I kind of like the nickname poonstick, can we keep it?

Narrator: Fine then

So Bonk went to his toolshed and attached a chainsaw to his hand, and also grabbed
his trusty shotgun which he nicknamed PoonStick.


Slumdum: Wait......

Narrator: What?

Slumdum: Hey bonky name the shotgun after me!

Bonk: You want me to call it the Slumgun?

Slumdum: No....Call it the Slumstick.

Narrator: Seriously?

Slum: yeah call it the Slumstick!

Narrator: Well Bonk what are we calling it?

Bonk: I'm thinking, I'm thinking....

Narrator: Some time this century please!

Bonk: Yeah call it the Slumstick after my baby Slum!


So Bonk went to his toolshed and attached a chainsaw to his hand, and also grabbed
his trusty shotgun which he nicknamed the SlumStick.


Bonk fought the beast creature and after a long battle he shot it with the Slumstick and cut off
it's head with the chainsaw, but it re-attached it's own head, then the evil surgeon danced
in delight as he thought his creature was unstoppable, but Bonk had secretly devised a plan and
hired a hooker named StephanieD to put Xlax in the tea of the surgeon.

StephanieD: Seriously why do I got to be a damn hooker for?

Narrator: What do you want to be?

StephanieD: I'm a banana princess!

Narrator: Fine. Bonk had secretly devised a plan and hired a banana princess
named StephanieD to put Xlax in the tea of the surgeon,


StephanieD: excuse me mr. narrator

Narrator: What is it now?

StephanieD: I'm kind of confused, you see you put Xlax in the tea
of the evil surgeon.

Narrator: And?

StephanieD: And that's spelled like the name of the user on the lewd forum instead of the pills
that make you go poop.

Slumdum: She is right you know.

Bonk: Yeah I agree with Steph.

Narrator: Fine. And will you three do me a favor and stop interrupting
my story!

Slum: Sorry
Bonk: Sorry
StephanieD: Sorry

Narrator: Now where was I. Oh yes....
Bonk fought the beast creature and after a long battle he shot it and cut off it's head, but it
re-attached it's own head, then the evil surgeon danced in delight as he thought his creature
was unstoppable, but Bonk had secretly devised a plan and hired a banana princess
named StephanieD to put Ex-lax in the tea of the surgeon. Then he sent a village boy named
Shawneth Chappeth to the Surgeon's laboratory, and while the Surgeon was in the shitter,
the boy quickly grabbed the book and ran away and took it to the wise man Bonk.

Bonk the wiseman had the village boy Shawneth Chappeth to read the
words of the book to try and vanquish the creature, a giant portal opened,
and the portal sucked up the beast, but Bonk flew into the portal with it, and that
was the last anyone ever saw of the lewd lurker beast or the wiseman known as Bonk.

Evil Surgeon: Hey wait a minute

Narrator: What do you want?

Evil Surgeon: Why do I have to be the bad guy behind it all?
Why can't I be an innocent pawn and Underlord be the ultimate evil?

Narrator: Fine!

As it turns out it was the master plan of the Underlord who had
used brain washing techniques to control the evil surgeon and trick
him into doing his bidding. The End

StephanieD: Hey wait a minute...

Narrator: What is it now?

StephanieD: That Lewd creature sounds a lot like Slumdum's Guwnknime.

Narrator: Huh?

StephanieD: I think you copied the Lewd creature after it.

Narrator: No I didn't !

Slumdum: It does sound similar to my creature the Guwnknime.

Narrator: Bullshit!

Bonk: Don't you dare raise your voice at my baby slum!

Narrator: Screw you guys!

StephanieD: Don't make me get Conzibald!

Narrator: haha what's that old Swedish chef gonna do?

StephanieD: He'll drill some mole holes in your butt.

Narrator: What?

Conzibald: viggy, vingy, swingy, wiggy, viggy

Narrator: AHHHHHH get this crazy swede off of me!

StephanieD: Then you shouldn't have called me a hooker.

Narrator: But I apologized and fixed it.

StephanieD: Yeah...well I've been watching Cobra Kai on Netflix.

Narrator: What's that mean?

StephanieD: It means no mercy bitch! Fill the holes Conzi.

Narrator: NOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooo

The End

Captivating narrative. 100/100 Would read again.

 

[Squeeky]

What i hate is when people reduce their options in the bedroom by fear to be considered homosexual or queer.

Certainly it's fair for someone to have boundaries sexually, and whether that's because of their sexuality, beliefs, or fear of pain, I don't have a problem with them expressing that and defending it for themselves.
I think it's good when people can feel comfortable suggesting new things to each other sexually.
I heard a comedian recently say that most men are mostly restrained sexually by what they think their wife/gf is into. If you can't communicate, you may be missing out on some fun. But as always, no means no.

 

[Sarya]

Certainly it's fair for someone to have boundaries sexually, and whether that's because of their sexuality, beliefs, or fear of pain, I don't have a problem with them expressing that and defending it for themselves.
I think it's good when people can feel comfortable suggesting new things to each other sexually.
I heard a comedian recently say that most men are mostly restrained sexually by what they think their wife/gf is into. If you can't communicate, you may be missing out on some fun. But as always, no means no.

Yeah i wasn't saying it like that, i'm sorry if my post was misinterpreted.

Consent and safe sex is what is important. That's normal to have boundaries. I advocate using safe words even outside of BDSM.

I think more sex education and communication is key.

 

[whydoineedto]

Story Time.

Spoiler: Story Time. The Lewd Lurker Creature

Narrator: Gather around dear friends and let me tell you the legend of the Lewd Lurker creature.

Once upon a time in the village of Lewd there was peace and happiness, and a man
named Bonk lived happily with his beloved Slumdum. He had intended to marry her
and make Slum his wife. But deep in the forest of Lewd inside an old cabin
in the woods, lived a witch, and this witch was seeking revenge on the towns people
who once banished her coven.

So the witch devised a plan against the citizens of Lewd. And a monster was created
by a crazy mad Evil Surgeon who had dug up the corpses of the dead, and brought their
severed body parts before the powerful witch called Xonia. This creature was brought to life
with the powers of the necronomicon which was a spell book inked in blood and bound
in human flesh.

The creature had the sunglasses of Kavinsky, the ears of the goblin Flaming,
the fangs of the vampire Inyo, the head of the Swedish chef Conzibald, the eyes of the
Teaspoon, the scrotum of bloodheart the pirate, the hands of luciddream, the legs of racoon
Algeo, with just a pinch of Anon-670, all these body parts were stitched together by the
Evil Surgeon.

This creature was then given life by the Witch at the Surgeons laboratory and terrorized the
village of Lewd, and many villagers died, including the beloved Slumdum, in anger the
wise nobleman Bonk decided to fight the beast and destroy it! After a brutal
fight the wiseman Bonk vanquished the beast, but in the process lost his hand
in battle, he then buried the remains of the creature on a hilltop and placed
a cross as a marker above it.

But the old witch would not be defeated so easily, and she used her powers
and read from the Necronomican once again and brought the creature back from the dead, but the creature
required a sacrifice, so the evil surgeon with scalpel in hand killed the witch and gave the
body to the beast and it devoured the witch broom and all, now the creature was
far stronger than before as it had the powers of the witch Xonia. The creature began
terrorizing the village again, Bonk fought the creature but was no match with only one
hand, so Bonk went to his toolshed and attached a chainsaw to his hand, and also grabbed
his trusty shotgun which he nicknamed poonstick sorry I mean boomstick.

Bonk: Wait.....I kind of like the nickname poonstick, can we keep it?

Narrator: Fine then

So Bonk went to his toolshed and attached a chainsaw to his hand, and also grabbed
his trusty shotgun which he nicknamed PoonStick.


Slumdum: Wait......

Narrator: What?

Slumdum: Hey bonky name the shotgun after me!

Bonk: You want me to call it the Slumgun?

Slumdum: No....Call it the Slumstick.

Narrator: Seriously?

Slum: yeah call it the Slumstick!

Narrator: Well Bonk what are we calling it?

Bonk: I'm thinking, I'm thinking....

Narrator: Some time this century please!

Bonk: Yeah call it the Slumstick after my baby Slum!


So Bonk went to his toolshed and attached a chainsaw to his hand, and also grabbed
his trusty shotgun which he nicknamed the SlumStick.


Bonk fought the beast creature and after a long battle he shot it with the Slumstick and cut off
it's head with the chainsaw, but it re-attached it's own head, then the evil surgeon danced
in delight as he thought his creature was unstoppable, but Bonk had secretly devised a plan and
hired a hooker named StephanieD to put Xlax in the tea of the surgeon.

StephanieD: Seriously why do I got to be a damn hooker for?

Narrator: What do you want to be?

StephanieD: I'm a banana princess!

Narrator: Fine. Bonk had secretly devised a plan and hired a banana princess
named StephanieD to put Xlax in the tea of the surgeon,


StephanieD: excuse me mr. narrator

Narrator: What is it now?

StephanieD: I'm kind of confused, you see you put Xlax in the tea
of the evil surgeon.

Narrator: And?

StephanieD: And that's spelled like the name of the user on the lewd forum instead of the pills
that make you go poop.

Slumdum: She is right you know.

Bonk: Yeah I agree with Steph.

Narrator: Fine. And will you three do me a favor and stop interrupting
my story!

Slum: Sorry
Bonk: Sorry
StephanieD: Sorry

Narrator: Now where was I. Oh yes....
Bonk fought the beast creature and after a long battle he shot it and cut off it's head, but it
re-attached it's own head, then the evil surgeon danced in delight as he thought his creature
was unstoppable, but Bonk had secretly devised a plan and hired a banana princess
named StephanieD to put Ex-lax in the tea of the surgeon. Then he sent a village boy named
Shawneth Chappeth to the Surgeon's laboratory, and while the Surgeon was in the shitter,
the boy quickly grabbed the book and ran away and took it to the wise man Bonk.

Bonk the wiseman had the village boy Shawneth Chappeth to read the
words of the book to try and vanquish the creature, a giant portal opened,
and the portal sucked up the beast, but Bonk flew into the portal with it, and that
was the last anyone ever saw of the lewd lurker beast or the wiseman known as Bonk.

Evil Surgeon: Hey wait a minute

Narrator: What do you want?

Evil Surgeon: Why do I have to be the bad guy behind it all?
Why can't I be an innocent pawn and Underlord be the ultimate evil?

Narrator: Fine!

As it turns out it was the master plan of the Underlord who had
used brain washing techniques to control the evil surgeon and trick
him into doing his bidding. The End

StephanieD: Hey wait a minute...

Narrator: What is it now?

StephanieD: That Lewd creature sounds a lot like Slumdum's Guwnknime.

Narrator: Huh?

StephanieD: I think you copied the Lewd creature after it.

Narrator: No I didn't !

Slumdum: It does sound similar to my creature the Guwnknime.

Narrator: Bullshit!

Bonk: Don't you dare raise your voice at my baby slum!

Narrator: Screw you guys!

StephanieD: Don't make me get Conzibald!

Narrator: haha what's that old Swedish chef gonna do?

StephanieD: He'll drill some mole holes in your butt.

Narrator: What?

Conzibald: viggy, vingy, swingy, wiggy, viggy

Narrator: AHHHHHH get this crazy swede off of me!

StephanieD: Then you shouldn't have called me a hooker.

Narrator: But I apologized and fixed it.

StephanieD: Yeah...well I've been watching Cobra Kai on Netflix.

Narrator: What's that mean?

StephanieD: It means no mercy bitch! Fill the holes Conzi.

Narrator: NOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooo

The End

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[Slumdum]

Story Time.

Spoiler: Story Time. The Lewd Lurker Creature

Narrator: Gather around dear friends and let me tell you the legend of the Lewd Lurker creature.

Once upon a time in the village of Lewd there was peace and happiness, and a man
named Bonk lived happily with his beloved Slumdum. He had intended to marry her
and make Slum his wife. But deep in the forest of Lewd inside an old cabin
in the woods, lived a witch, and this witch was seeking revenge on the towns people
who once banished her coven.

So the witch devised a plan against the citizens of Lewd. And a monster was created
by a crazy mad Evil Surgeon who had dug up the corpses of the dead, and brought their
severed body parts before the powerful witch called Xonia. This creature was brought to life
with the powers of the necronomicon which was a spell book inked in blood and bound
in human flesh.

The creature had the sunglasses of Kavinsky, the ears of the goblin Flaming,
the fangs of the vampire Inyo, the head of the Swedish chef Conzibald, the eyes of the
Teaspoon, the scrotum of bloodheart the pirate, the hands of luciddream, the legs of racoon
Algeo, with just a pinch of Anon-670, all these body parts were stitched together by the
Evil Surgeon.

This creature was then given life by the Witch at the Surgeons laboratory and terrorized the
village of Lewd, and many villagers died, including the beloved Slumdum, in anger the
wise nobleman Bonk decided to fight the beast and destroy it! After a brutal
fight the wiseman Bonk vanquished the beast, but in the process lost his hand
in battle, he then buried the remains of the creature on a hilltop and placed
a cross as a marker above it.

But the old witch would not be defeated so easily, and she used her powers
and read from the Necronomican once again and brought the creature back from the dead, but the creature
required a sacrifice, so the evil surgeon with scalpel in hand killed the witch and gave the
body to the beast and it devoured the witch broom and all, now the creature was
far stronger than before as it had the powers of the witch Xonia. The creature began
terrorizing the village again, Bonk fought the creature but was no match with only one
hand, so Bonk went to his toolshed and attached a chainsaw to his hand, and also grabbed
his trusty shotgun which he nicknamed poonstick sorry I mean boomstick.

Bonk: Wait.....I kind of like the nickname poonstick, can we keep it?

Narrator: Fine then

So Bonk went to his toolshed and attached a chainsaw to his hand, and also grabbed
his trusty shotgun which he nicknamed PoonStick.


Slumdum: Wait......

Narrator: What?

Slumdum: Hey bonky name the shotgun after me!

Bonk: You want me to call it the Slumgun?

Slumdum: No....Call it the Slumstick.

Narrator: Seriously?

Slum: yeah call it the Slumstick!

Narrator: Well Bonk what are we calling it?

Bonk: I'm thinking, I'm thinking....

Narrator: Some time this century please!

Bonk: Yeah call it the Slumstick after my baby Slum!


So Bonk went to his toolshed and attached a chainsaw to his hand, and also grabbed
his trusty shotgun which he nicknamed the SlumStick.


Bonk fought the beast creature and after a long battle he shot it with the Slumstick and cut off
it's head with the chainsaw, but it re-attached it's own head, then the evil surgeon danced
in delight as he thought his creature was unstoppable, but Bonk had secretly devised a plan and
hired a hooker named StephanieD to put Xlax in the tea of the surgeon.

StephanieD: Seriously why do I got to be a damn hooker for?

Narrator: What do you want to be?

StephanieD: I'm a banana princess!

Narrator: Fine. Bonk had secretly devised a plan and hired a banana princess
named StephanieD to put Xlax in the tea of the surgeon,


StephanieD: excuse me mr. narrator

Narrator: What is it now?

StephanieD: I'm kind of confused, you see you put Xlax in the tea
of the evil surgeon.

Narrator: And?

StephanieD: And that's spelled like the name of the user on the lewd forum instead of the pills
that make you go poop.

Slumdum: She is right you know.

Bonk: Yeah I agree with Steph.

Narrator: Fine. And will you three do me a favor and stop interrupting
my story!

Slum: Sorry
Bonk: Sorry
StephanieD: Sorry

Narrator: Now where was I. Oh yes....
Bonk fought the beast creature and after a long battle he shot it and cut off it's head, but it
re-attached it's own head, then the evil surgeon danced in delight as he thought his creature
was unstoppable, but Bonk had secretly devised a plan and hired a banana princess
named StephanieD to put Ex-lax in the tea of the surgeon. Then he sent a village boy named
Shawneth Chappeth to the Surgeon's laboratory, and while the Surgeon was in the shitter,
the boy quickly grabbed the book and ran away and took it to the wise man Bonk.

Bonk the wiseman had the village boy Shawneth Chappeth to read the
words of the book to try and vanquish the creature, a giant portal opened,
and the portal sucked up the beast, but Bonk flew into the portal with it, and that
was the last anyone ever saw of the lewd lurker beast or the wiseman known as Bonk.

Evil Surgeon: Hey wait a minute

Narrator: What do you want?

Evil Surgeon: Why do I have to be the bad guy behind it all?
Why can't I be an innocent pawn and Underlord be the ultimate evil?

Narrator: Fine!

As it turns out it was the master plan of the Underlord who had
used brain washing techniques to control the evil surgeon and trick
him into doing his bidding. The End

StephanieD: Hey wait a minute...

Narrator: What is it now?

StephanieD: That Lewd creature sounds a lot like Slumdum's Guwnknime.

Narrator: Huh?

StephanieD: I think you copied the Lewd creature after it.

Narrator: No I didn't !

Slumdum: It does sound similar to my creature the Guwnknime.

Narrator: Bullshit!

Bonk: Don't you dare raise your voice at my baby slum!

Narrator: Screw you guys!

StephanieD: Don't make me get Conzibald!

Narrator: haha what's that old Swedish chef gonna do?

StephanieD: He'll drill some mole holes in your butt.

Narrator: What?

Conzibald: viggy, vingy, swingy, wiggy, viggy

Narrator: AHHHHHH get this crazy swede off of me!

StephanieD: Then you shouldn't have called me a hooker.

Narrator: But I apologized and fixed it.

StephanieD: Yeah...well I've been watching Cobra Kai on Netflix.

Narrator: What's that mean?

StephanieD: It means no mercy bitch! Fill the holes Conzi.

Narrator: NOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooo

The End

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Fucking hell Steph, that was goddamn good!
Also Slumstick?

Edit: Wait wait wait! She changed her pfp! October Steph, are we in for a scare?