discussion Who's got jokes?

[User_111887]

How do you find Will Smith in a snowstorm? You look for fresh prints.

 

[User_111887]

The difference between a numerator and a denominator is a short line. Only a fraction of people will understand this

 

[PathOfHate]

A group of engineering professors are all sitting on a plane waiting to take off, when the captain comes over the intercom and announces that as a surprise, the entire plane has been designed and built by their students.
Understandably, all the engineers immediately begin panicking, desperately scrambling to get off the plane, all except for one who is still calmly sitting in his seat.
The others urge him to abandon the plane and save himself, to which he replys-
"Relax, I've watched these students grow from freshmen who could barely figure out Calc I, to budding young engineers. I've seen their lab work, checked their math, and knowing the astonishing skills they have developed in their time as students I have every faith that this damn plane won't even start"

 

[conzibald]

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[User_124703]

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Oh, You are German too?

 

[conzibald]

Oh, You are German too?

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[MagusArcane]

How do you find Will Smith in the snow?

You look for the fresh prints.


What kind of pants does Mario wear?

Denim, denim, denim.

 

[fthegovernment]

I got $20 that this thread goes nowhere.........

 

[DisguisedLizard]

does memes count?

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[ZD100]

What do you call it when an orphan gets kidnapped?

Spoiler

Surprise adoption

I wish I could help you, Timmy, but you are an orphan, and I am a family doctor.

 

[AlBetGam]

Three enemy Jaffa meet on neutral ground. It is a tense moment as they stare each other down.

The Horus Guard's beak glistens.

The Serpent Guard's eyes flash.

The Setesh Guard's nose... drips.

A new drug has been developed for lesbians with depression, it's called:

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I hear it's a suppository...

 

[fthegovernment]

does memes count?

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no but your ability as an artist does

 

[longgoneguy46]

I got $20 that this thread goes nowhere.........

well, what else can you expect.

 

[bbb222]

A joke?

My life.

 

[DaniGiggles]

What do you get when you mix human DNA and vegetable DNA?

You get kicked out of the produce aisle.

 

[USER_6969]

Daughter: Dad can I have some money to go out later?
Dad: Only if you give me a blowjob.
Daughter: Really?
Dad: Yes!
10 minutes later...
Daughter: Your cock tasted like shit.
Dad: Your brother asked to borrow the car earlier.

 

[IFF01]

Which animal has the largest chest?
A Z-bra.

Two nuns are riding their bicycles around the backstreets of Rome. One nun looks over at the other and says, "You know, I’ve never come this way before." The other nun replies, "Must be the cobblestones."​

 

[fthegovernment]

well, what else can you expect.

this is the internet, i have zero expectations and even less expectations of people being able to understand humor without memes & emoji's

imagine a world where there are no words, just a database of useless memes & emoji's that mean nothing........


what a world, what a world.......

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[User_143196]

A man and his wife and children and dog walk into a talent agency. And the talent agent says "Describe your act." The man strips his daughter and starts screwing her. The wife got down on all fours and let the dog mount her. The son whipped his cock out and lets the dog lick it. The man sticks his cock into his wife's mouth and the daughter starts masturbating in the corner. The son starts jerking off over his mothers tits. The man and his son cum on the wife and the daughter cums from having the dog lick her pussy.
Shocked, the talent agent asks "what is the name of your act?" The man exclaims "The Aristocrats!"

 

[fthegovernment]

A man and his wife and children and dog walk into a talent agency. And the talent agent says "Describe your act." The man strips his daughter and starts screwing her. The wife got down on all fours and let the dog mount her. The son whipped his cock out and lets the dog lick it. The man sticks his cock into his wife's mouth and the daughter starts masturbating in the corner. The son starts jerking off over his mothers tits. The man and his son cum on the wife and the daughter cums from having the dog lick her pussy.
Shocked, the talent agent asks "what is the name of your act?" The man exclaims "The Aristocrats!"