discussion Abandoned VN KN Ren'Py DAZ PGI-257 [Episode 1] [elfieeven]

[elfieeven]

"If you've played the game, then you know this means certain activities MUST occur, so just pick female if you're not comfortable with that." what activities might I not be comfortable with besides the sex stuff (which I am)?

That's it. I'll change the note to make it more explicit without spoiling anything too badly.

Well... that and the fact that MC will be just as loving and sappy with trans daughter as any other daughter

 

[vkuufjydt]

What an incredible debut for this story. The narration is properly articulated and feels quite natural alltogether. Renders are downright beautiful and in all honesty I think katie and lily might be my two favourite models of all time(I'm mostly focussed on facial features and they are just perfect). Besides that the expressions and body language feel very real as well which makes the immersion so much better. I've been excited for your VN's release for a while now and am delighted that despite my already high expectations I'm still positively impressed with the quality of your work. If there's any way to show my appreciation towards your efforts I'd love to know!

 

[helent]

wow there's a lot of dramatic porn but it's also funny.

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my first thought is ghost busters

 

[helent]

I didn't encounter any trans or nonbianary options

 

[Tosser]

I didn't encounter any trans or nonbianary options

Those aren't in the tags - why did you expect them?

 

[Tiur]

I didn't encounter any trans or nonbianary options

Those aren't in the tags - why did you expect them?

The OP says that they will be in the game, but that means they're not in it yet. I think one of them has been mentioned so far, but not yet seen.

 

[Tosser]

The OP says that they will be in the game, but that means they're not in it yet. I think one of them has been mentioned so far, but not yet seen.

Bummer.

 

[Band]

My only peeve is the proportionate size of the models. At one point in the kitchen their waists come to the kitchen bar, it makes them look like little giants. Otherwise good Kinetic Novel.

 

[RabbitFrost01]

Been following the development of this with a keen eye... Safe to say I was not disappointed with the first release! Great art work and really captivating story. Looking forward to the next episode!

 

[elfieeven]

My only peeve is the proportionate size of the models. At one point in the kitchen their waists come to the kitchen bar, it makes them look like little giants. Otherwise good Kinetic Novel.

They're sized appropriately for their age using a size chart asset but the house asset itself may have weird sizing.

 

[sullys]

It is explained in the game. It would be a huge spoiler to explain, so just play it, it is worth it.

That much content already?

 

[pgm_01]

That much content already?

Yes. It was far more than I expected in a first release, particularly in setting up the story. This is far more than a typical 5-minute preview.

 

[linnius]

Overall this is an exceptionally promising work! Really well done and I'm very much looking forward to what's next
My rambling thoughts:

A fresh premise with the potential for many interesting and fun developments.
The writing is very solid in my opinion. Though the exposition is ham-fisted, the rest strikes a good balance between erotic and realistic without being cringe.

Katie, Lily and Becca are just perfect - they are my favorite by far. The trio and Becca all have varied personalities and are written befittingly, with each given their own cute and charming moments and traits.
I especially look forward to seeing Lily (+Kudos for giving some tummy love!) explore her fetish and fulfill her wishes, and I wonder if the others have any of their own?
And I must praise the character design of these fantastic four girls (the Trio+Becca), their faces and proportions are PERFECT, well done! (I will note I did think they are slightly too tall as previously stated here in the thread, but I don't mind that too much with everything else being so well-made)


A plot point that isn't properly explained in chapter 1:
So how not only the trio, but also Becca and Yuna (and probably many more) get infected with PGI-257 without being anywhere near the explosion? And not PGI-255? And if it was actually spread by the explosion, it creates another potential plot hole...
The way the virus works and when it infected the girls is also confusing: Jasmine says the infection requires the victim to recieve semen regularly or eventually die. But nothing is said about the mind-control \ psychological effects some are suffering, like we see when Frank and Becca first meet, and the incestuous desires it instills..? That potentially explains how the Trio fell for Frank, but they claim they fell for him before Tracy died - meaning, before the PGI was supposedly brought in/spread/exploded. It's all rather convoluted /ISPOILER]

 

[elfieeven]

Overall this is an exceptionally promising work! Really well done and I'm very much looking forward to what's next
My rambling thoughts:

A fresh premise with the potential for many interesting and fun developments.
The writing is very solid in my opinion. Though the exposition is ham-fisted, the rest strikes a good balance between erotic and realistic without being cringe.

Katie, Lily and Becca are just perfect - they are my favorite by far. The trio and Becca all have varied personalities and are written befittingly, with each given their own cute and charming moments and traits.
I especially look forward to seeing Lily (+Kudos for giving some tummy love!) explore her fetish and fulfill her wishes, and I wonder if the others have any of their own?
And I must praise the character design of these fantastic four girls (the Trio+Becca), their faces and proportions are PERFECT, well done! (I will note I did think they are slightly too tall as previously stated here in the thread, but I don't mind that too much with everything else being so well-made)


A plot point that isn't properly explained in chapter 1:
So how not only the trio, but also Becca and Yuna (and probably many more) get infected with PGI-257 without being anywhere near the explosion? And not PGI-255? And if it was actually spread by the explosion, it creates another potential plot hole...
The way the virus works and when it infected the girls is also confusing: Jasmine says the infection requires the victim to recieve semen regularly or eventually die. But nothing is said about the mind-control \ psychological effects some are suffering, like we see when Frank and Becca first meet, and the incestuous desires it instills..? That potentially explains how the Trio fell for Frank, but they claim they fell for him before Tracy died - meaning, before the PGI was supposedly brought in/spread/exploded. It's all rather convoluted /ISPOILER]

First off thanks for your comments! And yes... exposition definitely goes overboard which is something I'm working on improving in Episode 2. That said, this is planned out to be a very long series (currently planning 3 seasons) and there are things being setup now that won't pay off until season 3, but I have to start slowly feeding information to the players.

Funny enough, the first version that my reviewers received had even more information that was removed to clarify things a bit. I'm working on a way to provide more details on the world, in a way that is easily accessible for those who are interested, but just as easy to ignore for those who don't. This additional information would be limited to things that the MC would actually know, so there won't be any spoilers.

As for the models.. I cannot take credit for those as they are the work of the amazing ND3D. As mentioned in another response, most of the characters are within their statistical height. I say most, as there are two that aren't for reasons that will be explained in the future.


Heh... there is definitely no plot hole but there ARE unanswered questions. I think it's easy enough to figure out how the trio (nice phrasing btw!) were infected, but the other two are a definite mystery in this episode. Episode 2 will start to explore these questions, but don't expect quick or easy answers to everything

First off, the trio + MC were always going to happen, even without PGI. We'll start seeing more about the family's backstory via additional flashbacks in the future, but even in this episode you can see that Tracy has spent a LOT of time preparing (some would say grooming?) the girls.

----

As for PGI-257... all I can say is that nobody has said that Frank and his daughters have PGI-257. All we know so far is that it acts VERY different from PGI-255.

----

Another thing to point out is this line which in hindsight I could have made a little more obvious.

MC Thinking
I can't tell her the whole truth.. not until I know more about what's going on, but a little bit of the truth goes a long way.

When he says the whole truth, he means the the mind-control/psychological aspects. After she reveals the 'family' phrase, he's willing to reveal a bit more, but for the most part he keeps things close to his chest. His only goal in life is to protect his family and while Jasmine may eventually be family, she hasn't gotten to that point yet. Even with the 'family' code phrase that Tracy gave her.

 

[tennoskum]

Amazing.. I love it

 

[El Buho]

That said, this is planned out to be a very long series (currently planning 3 seasons) and there are things being setup now that won't pay off until season 3, but I have to start slowly feeding information to the players.

Yes I am liking whats going on so far ( Very Naughty stuff ) I want to put my vote in for even naughtier stuff. I.E. water sports and minor beast.

 

[captain_hamhog]

Well, crap it's a KN, nothing against them but not my cup of tea.

 

[elfieeven]

Yes I am liking whats going on so far ( Very Naughty stuff ) I want to put my vote in for even naughtier stuff. I.E. water sports and minor beast.

Thanks for reminding me that I had forgotten to include the list of Tags I will never include in my games. I've now added it to the first post under Genre:

Water sports are under consideration for one of the future characters.

 

[helent]

The OP says that they will be in the game, but that means they're not in it yet. I think one of them has been mentioned so far, but not yet seen.

ahh ok, I guess I was distracted...

 

[helent]

Well, crap it's a KN, nothing against them but not my cup of tea.

kn?