Abandoned VN KN Ren'Py DAZ PGI-257 [Episode 1] [elfieeven]

[Nicest_Incest]

I started mid/late June? But a lot of that was learning and a HUGE rewrite. Episode 2 is well underway and I'm a lot more confident that my reviewers won't have so many issues with things this time around so we'll have to see. Definitely less than the six months it took Episode 1 though.

Wow, that's even more impressive.

 

[Kawasaki]

The story is fun and lovingly presented for the girls.
A bit long winded conversations at times, but still good.
The girls are beautiful and I look forward to the next updates to continue enjoying them.
Thanks for sharing this story with us and good luck.

 

[tylkasta42tylkasta42's icon]

Any specific issues or just a busy day?

oh, guess that came through somewhat wrong... i was referring to my "issue" being charmed too much by the menu-music to actually start the game... but yeah, i guess the second part is fitting now, too. *cough*

uhm, but on a more serious note, i just tried typing a review - but while finishing up adding a smiley to it somehow closed up my post without being posted under reviews....?
since it's been a bit longer, i doubt i'll manage to redo it in the way i had it before, sry!

P.S. well, made a new one now and got it posted, but it's actually way shorter has less style and sounds only half as good. - but i believe i still managed to include my main points (hopefully in a good enough way)

 

[elfieeven]

oh, guess that came through somewhat wrong... i was referring to my "issue" being charmed too much by the menu-music to actually start the game... but yeah, i guess the second part is fitting now, too. *cough*

uhm, but on a more serious note, i just tried typing a review - but while finishing up adding a smiley to it somehow closed up my post without being posted under reviews....?
since it's been a bit longer, i doubt i'll manage to redo it in the way i had it before, sry!

I probably should have put one of those "The music is actually pretty important so I'd recommend listening if you can" warnings in the game, especially considering how much it can heighten the tension of the drop off scene and the final scene. I'll add that to my EP2 list

 

[elfieeven]

...even though I'm curious what boogeyman Lily saw (hopefully it's his sis that kinda ghosted the MC years ago, but prob not).

I think that missing sister would use the front door... but that's just me

 

[Nicest_Incest]

I think that missing sister would use the front door... but that's just me

I guess I'm just creepy. If I was in her shoes not too sure I'd have the guts to just show up at the front door unannounced after a bunch of years, esp given their history. She probably doesn't even know he has 3 daughters, might not even know he had a wife that died so had an urge to scope out the situation first, even though outside observers of that might think she was just another crazy ex that was stalking him.

 

[El Buho]

It is explained in the game. It would be a huge spoiler to explain, so just play it, it is worth it.

Well, Ok, But even though I think the game is very good, it does often have too much dialog (IMHO) so I find myself hitting the space bar to skip it. So maybe I missed it? ( I am only at the point of after the finger in the --- at the park)

 

[Tosser]

Well, Ok, But even though I think the game is very good, it does often have too much dialog (IMHO) so I find myself hitting the space bar to skip it. So maybe I missed it? ( I am only at the point of after the finger in the --- at the park)

That's the "N" in "AVN" - many folks actually want the novel/story, not simply fap material - that can be found anywhere.

 

[Vlbc]

Male protagonist?
Incest?
Loli?
Harem?

Seems too good to be true. What is the catch?

 

[elfieeven]

Male protagonist?
Incest?
Loli?
Harem?

Seems too good to be true. What is the catch?

Lots of words.. it'll get better once the basics are explained but there will always be a story

 

[SharK_IN_A_Chair]

love it hope we don't have to wait a year between updates like a lot of the loli VNs here

 

[El Buho]

That's the "N" in "VPN" - many folks actually want the novel/story, not simply fap material - that can be found anywhere.

Humm, Well I didn't say I skipped ALL of it, just sometimes when it gets a bit wordy. Some very good VPNs need skipping sometimes like in Ravenous when they have the supernatural stuff.

 

[Nicest_Incest]

Umm VPN? Don't you mean AVN?

 

[Tosser]

Umm VPN? Don't you mean AVN?

Isn't that what I wrote? Look again.

 

[User_43891]

The intent was to give me something to point at if anyone said but you showed the wife in the banner pic! She is technically there but IF you paid attention...

There are actually multiple details in the banner pic that I will explain at some point in the future.

I'm assuming one of them is the sneaky cutie by the tree that I suspect is MCs daughter/niece?. Everyone else in the banner has been introduced, so crossing my fingers that I'm right.

 

[JokerOfTorment]

Hmm, do you avoid talking in conversations on here Elfie? I sent you one awhile back asking stuff about the game, so others wouldn't get spoiled by the answer, but got no response from you yet.

 

[El Buho]

Umm VPN? Don't you mean AVN?

( he edited his post to say AVN after you wrote your comment) but yea, I should have seen that also, and replied with a reference to AVN not VPN as I did.

 

[elfieeven]

Hmm, do you avoid talking in conversations on here Elfie? I sent you one awhile back asking stuff about the game, so others wouldn't get spoiled by the answer, but got no response from you yet.

Just busy working on Ep2 but I replied now

 

[yoyomistro]

A little on the sappy side for me (a lot actually, lol), but I'm a non-con enjoyer so I have to put my biases aside when looking at romantically-oriented stuff. Also not a fan of the whole reaffirming consent thing constantly, it's unnatural IRL and it comes across that way in writing as well. I guess it's useful if you're new partners, one party is nervous/extremely inexperienced, or lack the ability to read social cues, but it stilts the writing a ton, on top of the copious amount of sap. The mega-eyeballs don't help with that either. I'm not really a loli-enjoyer, I'm more here for the incest, so I guess if you want to do "ethical" loli fiction that could be central to the premise as I do tend to see that sort of excessive confirmation more in romantically-oriented loli stuff.

The premise is decent, apart from the "one decent guy in a world full of shitty men harem" trope. Harem enjoyers/writers need to come up with better tropes for "ethical" harems if that's what you want to call it. It can work, but it needs to be really well done for me not to roll my eyes at this point. Although again, I could see myself liking this a lot more if it was more in my wheelhouse, I've certainly consumed a lot of pretty tropey non-con/dub-con content. The characters are pretty good, most of my critiques of them would probably line up with my gripes with the writing. Each one has a clearly defined personality without leaning too heavily on explication, although it can be a tad heavy-handed, especially toward the beginning. Also, some of the nipple renders are blurry/low-res, especially for the wife and during animations. Best of luck @elfieeven . Not entirely my wheelhouse, but I'll probably stick around for the redheads and the incest. Good first effort, and godspeed going forward.

 

[elfieeven]

I'm assuming one of them is the sneaky cutie by the tree that I suspect is MCs daughter/niece?. Everyone else in the banner has been introduced, so crossing my fingers that I'm right.

All I can say is one of the reasons I don't allow changing the ages, is because they're important for the stories timeline.