this is exactly what I meant when I said what I said.
because I for one do know exactly what it is to procrastinate because of performance pressure. I've been there and I see the same signs in what you've been doing: you make a new promise, you tell yourself that 'this time you can do it', but you still can't start it (most likely because you fear it brings all the negative things back to your mind). you ruminate all through the way and beat yourself up for the repeated failure, make up a reason to delay again, so that you can try again, because you're still telling yourself you can do it.
but the worst part is you're dragging other people to your darkness with your lies. each time you have to make up an excuse, more and more pople will get suspicious and angry. and the cycle repeats untill you've destroyed your reputation, your connections, and your work life. and each time it only gets harder for you to start. it's a vicious cycle.
if you think it's bad now, you have no idea how bad it can get for your mental health if you keep this up.
it took me years to get back up from all that and I lost alot of friendships permanently, and my family still has a weary attitude towards me. they still question if what I'm saying is true, which means they still don't fully trust me.
unless you come clean. that's your only way you can begin to mend yourself and what your lies have broken or damaged.
you fear that people would be dissapointed and abandon you and your game. that's not going to happen. when you come clean, people will understand, because it's the truth. and you'll feel much better for doing it. I guarantee you that.
coming clean was how I began healing and fixing things.
your choice. but I hope you understand where what I said was coming from, now. and I hope this opens your eyes.
for the rest of you lot, doesn't it say something when one short comment sparks this much discourse?
aren't you misinterpreting things a bit too far? you see what you want to see and you feel you must protect someone you don't even personally know!
I think all of you should ask yourselves now (including cinn): was it worth it? what did you acchieve? did you actually help or make things worse?
bye.