On the Creepypasta website there have been lately a lot of stoopids like "top 10 most haunted sites in Las Vegas" I've been commenting "dis iz nawt stori." Now I submitted this:
TOP 10 BASEMENTS WHERE PEOPLE WHO POST NON‑STORIS ON CREEPYPASTA GO
(Ranked by severity, narrative crimes, and how loudly Basement Cat sighs.)
10. The Mildly Annoying Basement
For people who post “Top 10 Haunted Bridges” instead of actual stories. Punishment: forced to read their own listicles forever.
9. The “Dis Iz Nawn Stori” Holding Cell
A waiting room where every wall has my comment printed on it. Every 30 seconds a voice whispers:
“dis iz nawt stori.”
8. The Genre Confusion Basement
Every door is labeled “STORI,” but inside is just another listicle. They scream. The listicles multiply.
7. The BuzzFeed Echo Chamber
Every time they try to write a story, the keyboard auto‑corrects it into:
“Top 7 Haunted Parking Garages.”
6. The “Stahp Dis Stoopid” Corridor
A long hallway where Basement Cat follows them, repeating:
“stahp dis stoopid nawt stori stuff.” They cannot escape.
5. The Infinite Scroll Basement
They must scroll through their own non‑story forever. Ads pop up. The page reloads. The scroll bar resets.
4. The Fake Story Feedback Loop
They write a listicle. It gets posted. It gets deleted. It gets reposted. It gets deleted again. This continues for eternity.
3. The “Y U SO DIS” Chamber
A single room.A single chair.A single glowing sign on the wall:
Y U SO DIS
It pulses.It judges.
2. The Unpeakable Basement (Narrative Crimes Wing)
This is where the worst offenders go — the ones who post:
- “Top 10 Haunted Elevators”
- “5 Scariest Abandoned Walmarts”
- “7 Ghosts Who Might Be In Your Bathroom”
The walls whisper:
“write stori… write stori…”
They cannot.
1. THE WORST OF WORST SWUB BASEMENT
Reserved for the ultimate crime: Posting a listicle titled
“Top 10 Creepypastas” ON A CREEPYPASTA SITEWITHOUT WRITING A SINGLE ONE.
In this basement:
- the lights flicker
- the hallways loop
- the floor is sticky
- the ceiling drips beige energy
- every door leads to another non‑story
- Basement Cat stands in the corner, shaking his head
And carved into the wall in glowing red letters:
“DIS IZ NAWT STORI.”
zoidberg
