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News anchor: welcome to lewedcorner news. Our top story of
the hour, the bodies are hitting the floor in Denmark as locals
have barred up their doors and windows, as an escaped mental patient
with blonde hair, and blue eyes, wearing a hockey mask
is on the prowl, each victim had a potato placed inside their mouth
or butthole.
We spoke to a local scientist, a Dr. Conzibald from Sweden,and
asked him about the case. Dr. Conzibald said "Why I can appreciate
filling a few holes, sticking potatoes up the butt is too strange for me,
as I prefer Lincoln logs"
News anchor: In other news, in the Philippines, Underlord was sent to the cleaners
after all his coins were stolen late last night. Underlord awoke to his safe busted
open, in his own words "I was robbed haha, but I don't know why I'm laughing"
Underlord lost millions and millions of coins.
Police sketch artists gave us a photo of what the suspect may look like
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News anchor: In other news Australia's most wanted criminal the Mime has
finally been caught and is now behind bars! Law enforcement had failed to capture
the Mime who gave authorities the slip on multiple occasions, a local Sheriff however
took things into his own hand and saved his county from the Mime. In the words
of the local sheriff "I got your ass now Mime!"
