This is perhaps the most frickin' hilarious thing I have seen in a long, long time. And thanks to you, I now know how I'm going to break my rut of being single. I'm going to wander up to random ladies with an onion ring in between might right thumb and forefinger, look them deeply in the eye, then intone "One ring to rule them all."
I'll probably get rejected at least 500 times, slapped 25, and I may even have to dodge some gunfire, but when I find the one lady who gets it, I'll have found my one true love. Like Sam and Frodo... bad example. Like Luke and Leia... better!