Well I refunded Fallout 4. Even with the look sensitivity turned down so it didn't spin like a ferret on crack it didn't give NEARLY enough time to get to the vault.
Article:
Wikipurrdia: “Games Dat Expect U 2 Already Be Gud”
(Category: Game Design Fails / Hoomen Accessibility / Why U Make Dis)
Overview
“Games Dat Expect U 2 Already Be Gud” iz a widespread hooman‑tormenting phenomenon in which a video game assumes da player haz been practicing dat genre nonstop since da age of three. Dis design philosophy results in instant failz, confused hoomans, and many refundz.
Dis syndrome is especially common in:
• First‑purrson spinny‑camera games
• Match‑3 disguised as “school grades”
• Hidden object “find da pixel in da pixel” games
• Any game dat starts wid “Press Shift 2 Sprint” but neber tells u where Shift iz
Experts agree: dis is stoopid.
Symptomz
A game suffering from dis condition will show one or more of da following:
• No tutorial, because “everyone knows how 2 do dis, rite?”
• Camera sensitivity set to ‘ferret on espresso’
• Intro sequence dat requires Olympic‑level reflexes
• NPC yelling ‘COME ON!’ even tho u already dere
• Progress tied to a minigame u neber asked 4
• Assumption dat u haz played 10,000 hours of dis genre
• Punishment 4 learning instead of reward 4 trying
If u experience any of dese, consult ur local refund button.
Common Examplez
Fallout 4 Intro (“Vault Run of Nope”)
Game sez: “Just follow da route!”
Player sez: “I did.”
Game sez: “Not fast enough, slow hooman.”
Wikipurrdia sez: “Dis intro iz doin a stoopid.”
Hidden Object Games (“Find Da Pixel in Da Pixel”)
Game sez: “Find da tiny spoon hidden behind da other tiny spoon.”
Player sez: “I haz eyes, not microscope.”
Wikipurrdia sez: “Dis genre iz visual cruelty.”
Causez
Scholars believe dis syndrome comes from:
• Devs only testing wid hardcore players
• Fear of “slow intros”
• Belief dat tutorials are “for babies”
• Forgetting dat new players exist
• Thinking “difficulty” = “punish da hooman immediately”
Ceiling Cat has ruled dis behavior “iz super no.”
Impact on Hoomans
Affected hoomans may experience:
• Confusion
• Frustration
• Spinning in circles
• Running into doorframes
• Rage‑quitting
• Leaving negative reviews wid colorful metaphors
• Switching back 2 Sims 2 where life makes sense
Treatment & Prevention
Recommended cures include:
• Games dat let u go slow
• Games dat don’t punish learning
• Games wid cheats 2 remove difficulty
• Games dat don’t assume u haz reflexes of caffeinated squirrel
• Simulation, building, and management games
• Anything dat respects ur pace and ur eyeballz
Ceiling Cat prescribes: “Play what fitz ur paws.”
Conclusion
“Games Dat Expect U 2 Already Be Gud” represent a major accessibility fail in da gaming ecosystem. Hoomans deserve games dat teach, guide, and respect different playstyles—not games dat scream “MOVE FASTER!” before u even know where da buttons are.
Wikipurrdia recommends avoiding such games unless u enjoy suffering or haz eight paws.
