discussion Jokes/insults

[Driveackster]

How do you keep a blond girl busy? Put her in a round room and tell her to go in the corner.

 

[truetrue]

How do you keep a blond girl busy? Put her in a round room and tell her to go in the corner.

A blond walks into Vagus and goes to the roulette table. She looks at the guy running it and says "Do you mind if I strip I feel luckier when I'm naked". So she puts her money on the table and strips naked. as soon as the ball stops she starts jumping up and down excitedly shouting "Hooray I won." She then quickly grabs her winnings and her cloths and runs out of the room. Once she's gone one man looks at the other and says "So what number did it land on". The second man says "I thought you were watching". Moral of the story, not every blond is dumb.

 

[Driveackster]

How do you keep a blond girl busy? Give her a piece of paper with both sides saying: "Turn around"

 

[truetrue]

How do you keep a blond girl busy? Give her a piece of paper with both sides saying: "Turn around"

Pick up lines for gay computers: So are you a lap top or a lap bottom?

 

[Driveackster]

Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing.

 

[truetrue]

Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing.

Yo mama does so much drugs the doctors thought they found blood in her cocaine stream

 

[Driveackster]

Yo mamma is so ugly when she tried to join an ugly contest they said, "Sorry, no professionals."

Yo mama does so much drugs the doctors thought they found blood in her cocaine stream

Yo mamma is so ugly when she tried to join an ugly contest they said, "Sorry, no professionals."

 

[truetrue]

Yo mamma is so ugly when she tried to join an ugly contest they said, "Sorry, no professionals."

Yo mamma is so ugly when she tried to join an ugly contest they said, "Sorry, no professionals."

Yo mama so dumb she almost drowned after finding a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

 

[Driveackster]

Yo mama so dumb she almost drowned after finding a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

Yo momma is so fat that Dora can't even explore her!

 

[truetrue]

Yo momma is so fat that Dora can't even explore her!

Yo mama so ugly her face haunts ghost's nightmares.

 

[Driveackster]

Yo mama so ugly her face haunts ghost's nightmares.

Yo momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn't find the "CALL" button.

 

[AlBetGam]

Yo momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn't find the "CALL" button.

Yo mama so ugly, when an intruder broke into her house he called the police.

Yo mama’s so ugly, she made a blind kid cry.
Yo mama’s so hairy, Bigfoot takes pictures of her.
Yo mama’s so old, she knew Burger King when he was just a prince.
Yo mama’s so old, her birth certificate says “Expired.”
Yo mama’s so old, her first pet was a dinosaur.
Yo mama’s so fat, when she goes camping, the bears hide their food.

Yo mama so old she walked across the Bering Land Bridge.

Yo mama so fat when she walked across the land bridge it broke.

Yo mama so fat when mosquitos bite her they can't take off again.

Yo mama so fat when she sits around the house, she literally sits around the house.

Yo mama so fat, when she went swimming Greenpeace tried to save her from the Japanese.

Yo mama so old she was there when Grug invented fire.

Yo mama so ugly Grug put it right out cause the first thing it lit up was her face.

Yo mama so dumb she failed the Turing Test.

 

[setzer]

"Shut up, yo mama buys you Mega Blocks instead of Legos."

 

[truetrue]

A redneck goes into the doctor and says "Hay doc I want a vasectomy but can't afford it". Doc says "No problem just put a firecracker in a beer can, hold it to your ear and count to 10". So the Redneck gets a firecracker, lights it, drops it into an empty beer can and holds it to his ear and begins counting. 1..2..3..4..5..he then pauses, shoves the beer can between his legs and begins counting on his other hand, 6..7..8.......

 

[truetrue]

Blonde drives past a wind farm every day and one day all the turbines are stopped at once, a very rare site. Noticing this she exclaimed “quick take a picture.”

A blond sees another blond sitting in a boat in the middle of an empty field holding a fishing rod. First blond yells "It's blonds like you that make people think we're dumb, why if I could swim I'd come over there and teach you a lesson"

 

[ErzuzB]

You fight like a dairy farmer!

Wrong reply. The correct one would be: "How fitting! You fight like a cow!"

;-)

Or: Because I'm accustomed in handling your mother.

 

[truetrue]

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[truetrue]

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[jeff1005]

Insult: If I had a face like yours, I'd put it on a wall and throw a brick at it.
Ripost: If I had a face like yours, I'd put it on a brick and throw the whole f**king wall at it!

 

[jeff1005]

If three people having sex is a threesome, then I must be handsome

Okay, that one got me laughing