discussion Jokes/insults

[truetrue]

OK I couldn't find any active threads for this so I'm starting one. Lay on your jokes or your best comical insults.

I'd call you a cunt but it's obvious you have neither the depth nor abilty to give pleasure.

Two men walked into a bar, the third ducked.

If three people having sex is a threesome, then I must be handsome


(I have better ones I swear I'm just too tired to think of any right now)

 

[AlBetGam]

Yo mama so fat she uses I-95 as a Slip'n'Slide.

Yo mama so ugly Medusa looked at her and turned to stone.

Yo mama so dumb she needs a tube of lipstick to make up her mind.

Yo mama's hair so nappy Moses couldn't part it.

...Sorry, first thing that came to mind was Yo Mama jokes. I know, they're super old, really stupid, and they've been done by everyone a thousand times.

Just like yo mama.

 

[truetrue]

Yo mama so fat she uses I-95 as a Slip'n'Slide.

Yo mama so ugly Medusa looked at her and turned to stone.

Yo mama so dumb she needs a tube of lipstick to make up her mind.

Yo mama's hair so nappy Moses couldn't part it.

...Sorry, first thing that came to mind was Yo Mama jokes. I know, they're super old, really stupid, and they've been done by everyone a thousand times.

Just like yo mama.

Yo mama so fat and old when God said let their be light he was actually telling her to move her fat ass out of the way.
Yo mama so dumb she studied for her pregnancy test.
Yo mama so fat went sky diving and got stuck half way down.
Yo mama such a slut she the only train that ever runs on time.

 

[truetrue]

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[Vidilo]

You fight like a dairy farmer!

 

[truetrue]

You fight like a dairy farmer!

Does fighting like a dairy farmer involve grabbing a long cylindrical object and squeezing...

 

[truetrue]

You look like you'd drop common loot when you die.

You look like you're favorite sexual position is man on top woman in magazine.

 

[bigrockin]

You're so blind that if you had an extra eye you'd be a cyclops

 

[Vidilo]

Does fighting like a dairy farmer involve grabbing a long cylindrical object and squeezing...

Wrong reply. The correct one would be: "How fitting! You fight like a cow!"

;-)

 

[Mcloving]

nothing better than a yo mama joke

 

[truetrue]

You look like you'd show up in the end credits as useless NPC number 8

when you were born the doctor slapped your mother.

When you were born you dad said to your mom "I told you you should have swallowed"


There once was a man from Nantucket I was going to do this rhyme but you know what, Fu........rget about it.

 

[AlBetGam]

Yo mama so fat and old when God said let their be light he was actually telling her to move her fat ass out of the way.
Yo mama so dumb she studied for her pregnancy test.
Yo mama so fat went sky diving and got stuck half way down.
Yo mama such a slut she the only train that ever runs on time.

The Earth doesn't tilt on its axis after all. That's just the side yo mama's on.

Yo mama so dumb if you listen to her ears you can hear the sea.

Yo mama so old and fat, the last time she went swimming Atlantis sank.

Yo mama so fat, when she goes to the doctors they weigh her on the Richter Scale.

Yo mama like a brick wall- she weighs 1000 pounds and gets laid by a crew of Mexicans.

 

[truetrue]

The Earth doesn't tilt on its axis after all. That's just the side yo mama's on.

Yo mama so dumb if you listen to her ears you can hear the sea.

Yo mama so old and fat, the last time she went swimming Atlantis sank.

Yo mama so fat, when she goes to the doctors they weigh her on the Richter Scale.

Yo mama like a brick wall- she weighs 1000 pounds and gets laid by a crew of Mexicans.

Yo mama’s so fat, when she skips a meal, the stock market drops.
Yo mama’s so old, her social security number is 1.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she put airbags on her computer in case it crashed.
Yo mama’s so ugly, her portraits hang themselves
Yo mama’s so poor, ducks throw bread at her.

 

[AlBetGam]

Yo mama’s so fat, when she skips a meal, the stock market drops.
Yo mama’s so old, her social security number is 1.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she put airbags on her computer in case it crashed.
Yo mama’s so ugly, her portraits hang themselves
Yo mama’s so poor, ducks throw bread at her.

Yo mama so fat when she fans herself there's a Coriolis effect.

Dumb folks can't think straight, yo mama so stupid she can't even think gay.

Yo mama so old and ugly God had to make Eve, cause Adam wouldn't touch her.

Yo mama like Mount Everest: teams of sherpas climb her every day.

Yo mama so ugly she fell asleep at Bill Cosby's house and he put a blanket over her.

Yo mama so poor the homeless tell her to go away before she lowers the property value on their shopping cart.

 

[truetrue]

Yo mama so fat when she fans herself there's a Coriolis effect.

Dumb folks can't think straight, yo mama so stupid she can't even think gay.

Yo mama so old and ugly God had to make Eve, cause Adam wouldn't touch her.

Yo mama like Mount Everest: teams of sherpas climb her every day.

Yo mama so ugly she fell asleep at Bill Cosby's house and he put a blanket over her.

Yo mama so poor the homeless tell her to go away before she lowers the property value on their shopping cart.

Yo mama’s so ugly, she made a blind kid cry.
Yo mama’s so hairy, Bigfoot takes pictures of her.
Yo mama’s so old, she knew Burger King when he was just a prince.
Yo mama’s so old, her birth certificate says “Expired.”
Yo mama’s so old, her first pet was a dinosaur.
Yo mama’s so fat, when she goes camping, the bears hide their food.

 

[Vidilo]

Hab SoSLI' Quch!
(your Mother has a smooth forehead!)

 

[Driveackster]

Yo mama is so fat she farts the smell into meatball packages.

 

[truetrue]

Yo mama so dumb she had you

 

[Driveackster]

Yo mama is so fat she takes passport photos with google maps

 

[truetrue]

Yo mama is so fat she takes passport photos with google maps

Yo mama so old and fat it wasn't a meteor that killed the dinosaur it was her doing a cannon ball into the ocean.