Lazarus͏
He cried in a loud voice: "Lazarus, come forth!"
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But can you even reconcile your activity on a porn site forum with being married (for those who are married, of course)?
For me, it's a "hidden" activity, and it actually makes me sad.
I've said it before in this thread, but I'll say it directly to you as well:
My wife and I share basically everything together, and play the AVN's I have found on this site and others, together.
There are no secrets in my house. The degree to which the proverbial door is open varies of course but it's not born from secrecy.
That kind of shame eats you alive from the inside. It isn't healthy, and I'd urge anyone to break it or break away from it.
Otherwise, in my experience - you're riding a train destined to crash and the longer you ride it, the more pain you cause everyone on board. Yourself included.