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Thank you for this. It was hard to catch everything in such a huge script, I will fix these. Also, now that I will be getting individual updates to proofread instead of several at once, it should be more manageable to catch any errors.There is marked technical improvement in the writing, but there are still a few wrong word instances that wouldn't get picked up by a spellcheck:
comma instead of coma
"memory line" -> "memory lane"
"your tight" -> "you're tight"
"she seams" -> "she seems"
"Did you liked some?" -> "Did you like some?"
There's at least one more that I thought I'd remember but I didn't.
Word order and sentence structure is occasionally odd but that is because of how language shapes how we think and then it comes out weird in a different language than your native one. So thats not a worry. But there was one sentence pair that was kinda butchered:
"You can stop fighting [MC] if you continue like this. At best, you can end up paralyzed."
...should be something more like...
"You can stop fighting, [MC]. If you continue like this, at best you'll end up paralyzed."
There were a couple other instances of what should have been a complete sentence that was interrupted by a period where a comma should be, making two incomplete sentences. But that one above is the worst instance because it confused the meaning of the dialogue.
Last grammatical note, the semicolon is being used more than it should. The ; is a weird little dude with specific rules on when it should be used, and its not really needed as often as this game's dialogue would indicate. I don't remember them exactly so I wasn't tracking specific things that looked wrong, but there were a few. But really, even less people would notice or care about that than would be bothered by any of my corrections at all.
My intent isn't to be insulting or anything, I'm just trying to use my stupid superpower for good. I didn't even LIKE writing classes.
