discussion Who's got jokes?

[e6mill]

A termite walks into a bar and asks "is the bar tender here?"

 

[elap]

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[Marcus879]

What's another name for cumming inside a woman?
Loading the dishwasher

 

[LewdistMaker]

Instead of us telling jokes why don't eggs tell jokes instead?

They can't tell jokes because... they'd crack each other up!

I'll see myself out

 

[CatchMeLurkin]

LewdCorner moderators

 

[uberblack]

Two dogs: Pete and Repete.
Pete went for a walk, who stayed?

 

[TemperTempah34260923]

So this guy walks into a bar

 

[uberblack]

Spoiler: answer

Two dogs: Pete and Repete.
Pete went for a walk, who stayed?

 

[AlBetGam]

A man walks into a Soviet grocery store.

He looks at the shelves and apparently doesn't see what he's looking for, so he addresses the shopkeep.

"Excuse me, do you not have any meat?"

"Sir, this is a baker's shop. We only don't have bread. Across the street is the store which doesn't have any meat."

 

[ilkhan.ulric]

I once submitted 10 puns to a joke competition. I really thought with that many, one was sure to be a winner. Sadly, no pun in ten did.

 

[ArtoriasABW]

Women's Rights

 

[Korros]

Why aren't jokes as funny in base 8... because 7, 10, 11.

 

[anonvonbron]

LCs membership are here for the jokes

 

[Mr.bright]

The government doesn't spy on you, neither sells your data

 

[Tazsc]

To be is to do. - Socrates

To do is to be. - Kant

Do be do be do - Scooby

 

[Mr.bright]

To be is to do. - Socrates

To do is to be. - Kant

Do be do be do - Scooby

do be do be do ba do - Perry the platypus

 

[gugusty]

Haha awesome jokes

 

[DisguisedLizard]

Two hunters meet. Both are dead

 

[ticixa]

parrot joke:mas vai gostar de ligar assim na casa do caralho

 

[bravoswild]

This one has kind of stood out as one of the best jokes I've heard through the years. Been a long time since I actually heard it, so my telling may be a little off:

A guy finds himself at the pearly gates waiting to get into heaven. The guy in front of him turns around and asks him "So, how'd you die?". The first man responds:

"I was at work when I got a call from my neighbor who thought he heard my wife in bed with another guy. So I rushed home as fast as possible and burst into our bedroom. My wife was in bed naked, but I didn't see anyone else, so I frantically searched everywhere in the apartment. I then looked onto the balcony and saw a guy hanging on the railing over the edge. So I started stomping his hands until he fell. It was only three stories, so he was injured but not dead. So I grabbed the refrigerator and pushed it over the edge on top of him. From all the excitement, I then fell to the floor with a heart attack and died."

The man asked back, "How did you die?". To which he responded: "Well, I was painting the railing on my balcony when I fell over the edge. Luckily I was able to grab onto the railing a couple stories down. I thought I was fine until a crazed man ran out and started kicking me until I fell. I broke both my legs but was still alive. Next thing I know, a refrigerator falls on top of me."

The two men then look behind them and ask a third guy "What's your story?". The guy responds:

"I don't know, I was fucking some guy's wife and heard him come home, so I hid in the refrigerator. Next thing I know I am here".