discussion Complete KN Ren'Py DAZ Sandra [V1.0] [Anonymous]

[LiriusArt]

And so it goes on with Sandra...​

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[elfieeven]

And so it goes on with Sandra...​

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I love how these show both the power of Daz and its limitations Looks great!

 

[elfieeven]

how would you even put incest into this, unless there's a suprise visit by the sister of the MC? as if that doesn't happen already in tons of other incest VN's.
and she'd just be a side chick = filler.

it was established that the MC is a neighbor and the girl is basically from a broken home with virtually no emotional connection to her parents.
virtually zero room for incest from her side.

the dev also made a point about wanting this VN to have a slow progression to create a more realistic story.
so I really hope there will be ZERO side chicks in this, for once!

Dev outright said in this thread it will be other female characters will be support only.. no LIs

 

[elfieeven]

@LiriusArt It would be a good idea to get a native English speaker to help out with reviewing your script..

"Where do you want to go?" Most likely you meant "Where are you going?" but this might not be correct based on what she actually wanted to know.
"I thought I could stand it" This one ALMOST works.. but it's more natural if she said "I though I could handle it"
"It's probably better today" Again.. close but "It's probably better if you did it today" sounds better though I'd probably rewrite it to just be "Can you? Please?"
"How do you get into your apartment now?" should be "How will you get into your apartment?"
"May I?" is actually correct for an older person but Sandra would say "Can I?"

You get the point

 

[Nicest_Incest]

Dev outright said in this thread it will be other female characters will be support only.. no LIs

Which makes me wonder where the incest tag came from. My neighbor has a 10yo daughter. If we snuck out and fucked in the middle of the woods that's not incest (though would still be a piss-poor decision mostly made by my dick to be sure). Same scenario, only this time with own biological daughter(s): now that'd be incest (but arguably to me still wouldn't count unless she also got pregnant as a result, and still would be an equally piss-poor decision made mostly by my dick).

 

[elfieeven]

Which makes me wonder where the incest tag came from. My neighbor has a 10yo daughter. If we snuck out and fucked in the middle of the woods that's not incest (though would still be a piss-poor decision mostly made by my dick to be sure). Same scenario, only this time with own biological daughter(s): now that'd be incest (but arguably to me still wouldn't count unless she also got pregnant as a result, and still would be an equally piss-poor decision made mostly by my dick).

There is no incest tag either on this thread or in the planned genres list.

 

[Nicest_Incest]

There is no incest tag either on this thread or in the planned genres list.

oops, just now noticed that. I guess someone was complaining about lack of one. To be fair very few incest AVNs are that realistic anyway, I'm assuming because unless they have real life experience with it most don't know how to write a story around it. I guess simply making her the neighbor's kid is one way to deal with it.

 

[LiriusArt]

@LiriusArt It would be a good idea to get a native English speaker to help out with reviewing your script..

"Where do you want to go?" Most likely you meant "Where are you going?" but this might not be correct based on what she actually wanted to know.
"I thought I could stand it" This one ALMOST works.. but it's more natural if she said "I though I could handle it"
"It's probably better today" Again.. close but "It's probably better if you did it today" sounds better though I'd probably rewrite it to just be "Can you? Please?"
"How do you get into your apartment now?" should be "How will you get into your apartment?"
"May I?" is actually correct for an older person but Sandra would say "Can I?"

You get the point

Yes, I agree with you, what makes sense in German won't make sense in English. You have fun finding mistakes, I have the feeling, why don't you proofread into English? Write to me on Discord if you are interested. Thank you

 

[elfieeven]

oops, just now noticed that. I guess someone was complaining about lack of one. To be fair very few incest AVNs are that realistic anyway, I'm assuming because unless they have real life experience with it most don't know how to write a story around it. I guess simply making her the neighbor's kid is one way to deal with it.

I think there are plenty of incest AVNs out there (hell I'm working on one) so having something like this that follows one of the other common hentai cliches instead is fun and different.

 

[elfieeven]

@LiriusArt Did you intend to include the Lirius folder in the win zip? Seems odd to have a game folder in another folder off the root.

 

[cszero]

looks interesting, hoping to be released on android

 

[elfieeven]

Overall another fun and wholesome release for a game that quickly shot into my top 5 games.

Good

• Another wholesome, cute, fun release.
• Renders continue to be very well done.
• Sandra is still the cutest, most expressive character in any AVN I've seen. She sometimes acts a little to grown up but with a mother like that..
• Tom is an awesome, likeable, caring MC which you don't see enough of these days. This is not a corruption story, it's a love story and Tom plays his part very well. Curious to see if we're going to see things change up a little bit since that nasty "sex" word popped into his mind. Sure his conscious mind rebelled against it but the subconscious should be another story. It'd be funny to have him trying to hide an erection from Sandra the next time they're nearly naked rough housing with each other.

Bad

• Definitely needs some help with the English translation (I'll be glad to help out once I figure out a way to get a discord account that doesn't dox me) as the dialog is a lot rougher in this version. There is at least one place where I had no idea what the intent of the sentence was.
• Pretty sure Tom and Sandra are hovering above the bed (in the first bed scene) which I think makes the weird shadows even worse. Maybe Tom needs some non-white sheets to soak up some of that light and help reduce the shadows?

 

[Ochi]

tes impressionner par l'écriture de cette vn. L'histoire est splendide! les personnages son d'un réaliste fou! le tout est simplement logique. je suis impressionner par l'écriture de cette saga. je ne peu qu'attendre avec impatience la suite. Bravo au créateur d cette vn!

 

[0bora]

advance of 3-4 slides with one click is anoing (for me) ... I wish it could be changed perhaps in options like slides advance: normal or one by one
good music choice, it almost rip me a tear when the mother left the kid
I hope the "more" adult scenes will go as in reality, slow and with effort, with many tries and lots of failures
Good job !

 

[ObservantShadow]

Doesn't work on JoiPlay waiting for cebs

 

[DoobieDoobieDoooo]

My antivirus went ahead and deleted the main exe and then told me what it did. Seems to think it's that urgent an issue.

 

[Wiselord]

My antivirus went ahead and deleted the main exe and then told me what it did. Seems to think it's that urgent an issue.

its almost 100% a false positive, its happens a lot with ren'py games, should be fine, but if you want to be safe wait for more people to download it, re-download it and your AV won't flag it

 

[skybreaker1780]

This girl is way too cute

 

[Bollagus]

Getting a lot of errors using URM to change name. Maybe add a choice to change names?

 

[Deschain]

Getting a lot of errors using URM to change name. Maybe add a choice to change names?

But I just wanted to briefly underline what Lirius had already written. It's better not to change the names of the protagonists unless you know what you're doing. Otherwise the game will definitely crash. Despite extensive research, it was unfortunately not possible for me to add a “name change”. Not under the circumstances of how the names are designed and required for the sideimages.

Furthermore, have fun!
Deschain