@Stuffy @conzibald @Slumdum @Underlord @-Bonk-
news anchor: Welcome to Lewdscorner news. Our first news story, A Philippine millionaire finds true love.
Philippine resident Underlord married his online sweetheart today, 113 year old Glenda Evans
of Detroit Michigan. The romance started off with Miss Evans sending pictures to
Underlord of herself licking a popsicle saying "Under Daddy this could be you!"
news anchor: In other news, police have arrested a man in Florida for
removing the "do not remove" tag from his bedroom mattress.
news anchor: In other news; Lurker resident Stuffy goes into business with a new medicine,
a stimulant that can help relieve occasional constipation and irregular bowel
movements, the name of the over the counter drug is called Xlax. Which sounds like
a lawsuit in the making.
news anchor: Today in Sweden, a local chef was caught with his penis stuck in a soda
machine, when onlookers asked the man why his penis was in the soda machine,
he replied saying "The machine stole my dollar, and I was just trying to get it back"
news anchor: breaking news, the Florida resident who broke
the law by removing a mattress tag, and who lawyers say could spend up
to 90 years in prison, escapes from Florida jail with help from unknown accomplices.