discussion Anti-Social & Lurker - Hideout spot

[goons]

ok it's time for the......

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Spoiler: Kitty question of the day!

what is the best gift someone has given you?

The fact that my class organized a surprise good bye party, it was very nice

 

[KaityCat]

The fact that my class organized a surprise good bye party, it was very nice

That's really sweet of them! you must have made some good friendships with them

 

[User_61141]

"Kitty question of the day!"
what is the best gift someone has given you?

An advice, decades ago, from a really close friend, who used to listen to me whine all the time how I could never live up to my father's expectations and pitting myself for not being successful like my friends. After hours of talk and complain about how people were always looking down on me and saying that I didn't deserve the position had, she made me stop for a minute and said, "Then why are not doing anything to change that? Why are you expecting them to respect you if you don't respect yourself first?" That was the first time someone actually told me to try to be better.
I'll try to keep it simple to avoid sounding too arrogant.
After that I finished college, studied more and worked 13 hours daily to save my dad's company that was in debt because of my incompetence. Started my own company to save other people's business, with the entire focus in small business rather than profits. And started an MBA so I could've a more deep knowledge to support my own experience and provide a more practical help to small business. That friend gave me a gift that I could never buy for myself, she gave the gift of hope, and therefore, confidence. She saved my life, even if I’ve never had the chance to tell her just how much her words meant to me.

 "Down there I rediscovered who I truly was, the life I've left behind me, the man that sits before you here today"

Im intrigued by this deal you speak of....

you made me lost too much time thinking, I forgot. Ask me later

 

[Lazarus͏]

Best gift? Throwing out the hard questions here. I don't have a partner, no kids of my own, I don't even have a pet. I guess the best gift I've been given is from the universe, my family. We get along incredibly well and I know how sadly weird that is. I try not to take it for granted.

More family than you realize.

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[KaityCat]

An advice, decades ago, from a really close friend, who used to listen to me whine all the time how I could never live up to my father's expectations and pitting myself for not being successful like my friends. After hours of talk and complain about how people were always looking down on me and saying that I didn't deserve the position had, she made me stop for a minute and said, "Then why are not doing anything to change that? Why are you expecting them to respect you if you don't respect yourself first?" That was the first time someone actually told me to try to be better.
I'll try to keep it simple to avoid sounding too arrogant.
After that I finished college, studied more and worked 13 hours daily to save my dad's company that was in debt because of my incompetence. Started my own company to save other people's business, with the entire focus in small business rather than profits. And started an MBA so I could've a more deep knowledge to support my own experience and provide a more practical help to small business. That friend gave me a gift that I could never buy for myself, she gave the gift of hope, and therefore, confidence. She saved my life, even if I’ve never had the chance to tell her just how much her words meant to me.

That's increadible! I don't think you sound Arrogant at all. in fact I think thats an accomplishment to be proud of!

one bit of advice I got once when I was struggling with a lot of imposter syndrome stuff was "never take criticism from someone you wouldn't go to for advice." it really opened my eyes to how I was letting other peoples thoughts and opinions bother me. (still struggle there sometimes tho haha)

you made me lost too much time thinking, I forgot. Ask me later

when counts as Later? lol

 

[DubbleU]

That's interesting... I am not in the US and from what we know here, I heard that Delta is the best of US airlines when it comes to international flights. Though, obviously, I would prioritize my flagship carrier but if I were to fly from outside my country I would have looked for Delta.

I just never enjoyed it in my youth and as soon as I acquired autonomy in my life I got rid of it. With gifts there is an unwritten quid-pro-quo - you get one, you gift one on similar occasion. And I struggled with everything - social gatherings (anything more than 3 people including me is too much), looking for a return gift, another gathering to gift it.

Now its so much easier. No one expects a gift from me and no one has to gift me anything. With the exception of weddings, I guess. Not that I will attend most of these. Only 5 people in my life can for sure say I will be there.

I don't factor International Flights into my frequent travel, since I only leave the Country these days for events involving Film, like TIFF or Cannes. I do head to Toronto and Vancouver several times a year, for Work.

Spoiler: mid explanation rant

As I have a house my Dad left me in Toronto which I rent to one of 2 people on my Dad's side of the Family that I get along with. I usually stay in a Lofted Garage Apartment whenever I'm out there. When I say my Dad left me, I mean he died, and I'm the most responsible. So being named executor I was the one everyone hated for being in control of their buzzard carrion agenda. We split the house, and because I didn't want to let it go, I just paid the difference to keep it. Greedy mf'ers... same thing happened in Dallas with my Mom's house, which I ended up paying back taxes and took over payments before she passed, and my younger siblings expected a portion of -My House-.

Usually with International Flights, I go value and avoid long haul economy. If I can get a flight with an Airline for whatever Country I'm visiting, I go that route. For example Qatar or Japan Air, have been good. I know United and Delta are decent for those, but if you fly a lot and have a ton of bad experiences with a business, you avoid them. I only take said option if my choice is potentially something worse.

Second part, I just give people gift cards or cash, it's easier than getting something someone either won't like or won't use. Most people are all about instant gratification, so a little extra is helpful, and keeps things simple. I used to go all out and find what people like and get them something based on that, or make something myself. Which in turn made me expect something with the same level of thought, like you said quid-pro-quo.

 

[User_151477]

My lords and ladies tis a new day. I replenished my stores of crusade juice and am ready to seize the holy land anew.

 

[DubbleU]

ooooh that sounds good. how'd you cook that tilapia?

Oven baked. Nothing fancy. Butter, lemon, seasoning and love from the wife. Me and the kiddos primarily handled the peeling, mashing, and prepping of the potatoes.

I used to go to Outback because they had my favorite thing on that menu that wasn't Aussie Cheese Fries. That being Tilapia with Pure Lump Crab Meat. They took it off the menu like 3-4 years ago, and now they only have Salmon which I've never liked. None of the copycat recipes online were exact and I couldn't recreate it. It has bummed me out ever since, I really miss it. I do like Tilapia, though, very mild and doesn't take much to get rid of any overly fishy flavor, easy to season.

 

[Tleilax]

An advice, decades ago, from a really close friend, who used to listen to me whine all the time how I could never live up to my father's expectations and pitting myself for not being successful like my friends. After hours of talk and complain about how people were always looking down on me and saying that I didn't deserve the position had, she made me stop for a minute and said, "Then why are not doing anything to change that? Why are you expecting them to respect you if you don't respect yourself first?" That was the first time someone actually told me to try to be better.
I'll try to keep it simple to avoid sounding too arrogant.
After that I finished college, studied more and worked 13 hours daily to save my dad's company that was in debt because of my incompetence. Started my own company to save other people's business, with the entire focus in small business rather than profits. And started an MBA so I could've a more deep knowledge to support my own experience and provide a more practical help to small business. That friend gave me a gift that I could never buy for myself, she gave the gift of hope, and therefore, confidence. She saved my life, even if I’ve never had the chance to tell her just how much her words meant to me.

 "Down there I rediscovered who I truly was, the life I've left behind me, the man that sits before you here today"

This doesn't come across as arrogant at all. I find it admirable that you took that to heart and made it your literal business to help people.

More family than you realize.

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Family is what we make it. I have "aunts and uncles" that have no blood relation to me. "Cousins, brothers, sisters" too. My family frequently expands as new friends become part of the crazy mess that is our family.

I've seen people supporting each other here, being kind, without judgement for whatever they might be into. I see a family here, a weird one perhaps, but what family is normal?

"Normal is boring."

 

[DubbleU]

Family is what we make it. I have "aunts and uncles" that have no blood relation to me. "Cousins, brothers, sisters" too. My family frequently expands as new friends become part of the crazy mess that is our family.

I've seen people supporting each other here, being kind, without judgement for whatever they might be into. I see a family here, a weird one perhaps, but what family is normal?

"Normal is boring."

My family is crazy. My Parents separated when I was young. I have an eldest sister, which turned out to be my cousin that my Mom adopted after my Aunt passed away, this happened before I was born, she's 10 years older than me. She's also my closest family member.

Then 2 two brothers 9 and 7 years older me than. I won't go into details, but my parents separated and each had kids of their own, got back together and had me, then finally divorced and had 2 more kids each. I essentially had 2 full brothers, 2 half-brothers, a not-real sister, and 6 half-sisters. French-Canadian and Mexican, respectively. My Step-Mom was Korean, and my Step-Dad was Scottish.

 

[Underlord]

My family is crazy. My Parents separated when I was young. I have an eldest sister, which turned out to be my cousin that my Mom adopted after my Aunt passed away, this happened before I was born, she's 10 years older than me. She's also my closest family member.

Then 2 two brothers 9 and 7 years older me than. I won't go into details, but my parents separated and each had kids of their own, got back together and had me, then finally divorced and had 2 more kids each. I essentially had 2 full brothers, 2 half-brothers, a not-real sister, and 6 half-sisters. French-Canadian and Mexican, respectively. My Step-Mom was Korean, and my Step-Dad was Scottish.

That you John? Did I get the name right?

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[xatfx]

Ma famille est folle. Mes parents se sont séparés quand j'étais jeune. J'ai une sœur aînée, qui s'est avérée être ma cousine que ma mère a adoptée après le décès de ma tante, cela s'est produit avant ma naissance, elle a 10 ans de plus que moi. C'est aussi le membre de ma famille le plus proche.

Puis 2 deux frères de 9 et 7 ans plus âgés que. Je n'entrerai pas dans les détails, mais mes parents se sont séparés et chacun a eu ses propres enfants, s'est remis ensemble et m'a eu, puis a finalement divorcé et a eu 2 autres enfants chacun. J'avais essentiellement 2 frères à part entière, 2 demi-frères, une sœur pas vraie, et 6 demi-sœurs. Canadien-français et Mexicain, respectivement. Ma belle-mère était coréenne et mon beau-père était écossais.

Oops, blended families resulting from successive divorces are very difficult for children to manage.
Good luck to you.

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[KaityCat]

Family is what we make it. I have "aunts and uncles" that have no blood relation to me. "Cousins, brothers, sisters" too. My family frequently expands as new friends become part of the crazy mess that is our family.

I've seen people supporting each other here, being kind, without judgement for whatever they might be into. I see a family here, a weird one perhaps, but what family is normal?

"Normal is boring."

I'm starting to see it the same way

there's a couple particular user who have shown me some true kindness and acceptance, even making me feel seen for who I am. I'm still getting used to it haha

My family is crazy. My Parents separated when I was young. I have an eldest sister, which turned out to be my cousin that my Mom adopted after my Aunt passed away, this happened before I was born, she's 10 years older than me. She's also my closest family member.

Then 2 two brothers 9 and 7 years older me than. I won't go into details, but my parents separated and each had kids of their own, got back together and had me, then finally divorced and had 2 more kids each. I essentially had 2 full brothers, 2 half-brothers, a not-real sister, and 6 half-sisters. French-Canadian and Mexican, respectively. My Step-Mom was Korean, and my Step-Dad was Scottish.

wow, thats a big ol mixed up situation, sorry it's been so crazy for you.

Spoiler: have a hug

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[DubbleU]

Oups, les familles recomposées résultant de divorces successifs sont très difficiles à gérer pour les enfants.
Bonne chance à vou

Yeah, I turned out fine, the divorce and separation stuff wasn't a big deal, I was pretty mentally mature for my age, growing up. I don't speak much French, actually. I was mostly in Denver, California, and Texas. I did go to College in Toronto to finish a Degree, and even then don't know many people that speak it there. Even in the GTA area Downtown, I hear more Chinese and Korean, some Tagalog in Toronto. Ottawa and Quebec, most people I know there speak both French and English.

 

[Poldek]

ok it's time for the......

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Spoiler: Kitty question of the day!

what is the best gift someone has given you?

I would say my family and my wife. It's not original, I know... "All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way."

My family is crazy. My Parents separated when I was young. I have an eldest sister, which turned out to be my cousin that my Mom adopted after my Aunt passed away, this happened before I was born, she's 10 years older than me. She's also my closest family member.

Then 2 two brothers 9 and 7 years older me than. I won't go into details, but my parents separated and each had kids of their own, got back together and had me, then finally divorced and had 2 more kids each. I essentially had 2 full brothers, 2 half-brothers, a not-real sister, and 6 half-sisters. French-Canadian and Mexican, respectively. My Step-Mom was Korean, and my Step-Dad was Scottish.

Wow. If you spend together Christmas, must be crazy.

 

[KaityCat]

I would say my family and my wife. It's not original, I know... "All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way."

Every happy family is a gift! and they're all unique

there are way more married people here than i guessed before!

 

[xatfx]

Every happy family is a gift! and they're all unique

there are way more married people here than i guessed before!

But can you even reconcile your activity on a porn site forum with being married (for those who are married, of course)?
For me, it's a "hidden" activity, and it actually makes me sad.

 

[KaityCat]

But can you even reconcile your activity on a porn site forum with being married (for those who are married, of course)?
For me, it's a "hidden" activity, and it actually makes me sad.

I know my friend Lazarus here is open with his family about it

My human knows too, though she's not really interested in it herself. but that's ok. I'm just glad she loves me for me

 

[Hexborn_Magus]

Do you know more or less the year when you watched it?

Mid 90s. And based on the animation style I remember, couldn't be older than the 70s. Doesn't help narrow down by much really.

 

[DubbleU]

Wow. If you spend together Christmas, must be crazy.

We do not. I'm basically only on speaking terms with my oldest sister, whom I mentioned is my cousin, she's just always been my sister to me. Plus, my 2 youngest half-sisters on my Mom's side, whom I adore. Christmas sucks, because we had 4 Birthdays in December, and me Early January. I stayed with my Mom, but I'm pretty much the only kid that took on the physical traits of my Dad. So, when I was with my Dad, he would make me a priority, which caused resentment amongst the others. I also realized I was essentially being bought, whenever he would get me gifts. The messed up thing, is I know he was a good Dad, but on the flip he was a shitty husband. He was also wealthy, while my Mom left higher education to raise kids and was House Poor, my Mom was also arguably smarter than my Dad.