discussion Share your food horror stories.

[Naugus]

I'm sitting here drinking a Lemonhead slush from a gas station (it's absolutely vile) and I got the not-so-bright idea to ask ya'll for your food horror tales. Feel free to share incidents, mishaps, bad ideas, experiments gone wrong, or even opinions on something you tasted and hated. Did you turn an aged steak into a food poisoning factory? Cat took a shit in a birthday cake? Your dog ate the Thanksgiving turkey? A meal you had tasted like the tire section at a Sam's Club? If you got a story to tell, post it here!

 

[Kernist]

My friend once asked me to make him a tea because he was hungover, but since it was his place I didn't know what is where, so I confused sugar with salt. I didn't see anyone getting sober so quickly.

 

[Naugus]

While I'm thinking about it, here's a cooking tip: If you're using wine in your cooking, use FRESH wine. Wine is a living thing, and it starts dying as soon as you open the bottle. Leave it too long and it'll ruin a meal. Learned that the hard way after marinating some chicken in spoiled wine. The chicken was unsalvageable.

 

[User_31927]

when you throw a party put a bowl of dry food for cats between the chips, salt sticks and whatnot.
100% one wasted guest will eat them.

 

[Naugus]

when you throw a party put a bowl of dry food for cats between the chips, salt sticks and whatnot.
100% one wasted guest will eat them.

I've been told that cat food, even the wet stuff, isn't that bad. But you won't catch me trying it outside of a starvation situation

 

[DubbleU]

I was in Malaysia, we ordered like 30 things from Street Stalls in a nearby area. The food was great, interesting takes on things, but there was this dish called Rojak. I was half drunk, and just engorging myself on all these amazing dishes, until I saw the Rojak. It literally looked like barbeque ribs, with the sauce caramelized on it.

I remember being like "Fuck yeah!" took a bite and quickly spit it out. Nastiest fucking thing I ever tasted! Sweet, spicy, tangy citric, fishy. Holy hell if you like that and think it's good, we can never be friends!

It's basically a fruit salad with spicy prawn sauce or some shit, deceptively dressed up to look like something delicious. Fucking Trojan Horse food, if I've ever had it.

 

[AlBetGam]

Childhood memory- grandparents took us on a road trip to Disney World. They had some kinda timeshare apartment we were staying in, but we got in late and didn't really buy breakfast supplies. And since they came up as poor smalltown farmers they weren't about to go out to Waffle House in the morning when there was perfectly good food food edible biomatter in the refrigerator. So breakfast that day was a tough chicken leg in a stale hot dog bun with mustard, washed down with grape juice that- I swear- tasted exactly like orange juice (which I happen to hate). I genuinely don't remember bringing any of those things into the apartment with us.

I generally have an iron stomach and that's one of the very few times I've had to really restrain my vomit impulse. Fortunately the rest of the day was much better.

 

[LewisCarroll]

Mom served me my favorite meal when I was a child and about half way through I noticed a hair in my mouth, so I pulled it. Her hair was really long back then and it must have been in my stomach because I kept pulling and pulling like a magician pulling handkerchiefs out of my mouth. To this day I haven't eaten that dish again.

Was eating at a fancy restaurant and took a bight into my salad. It was kinda hard to chew and spit it out. Turns out it was a large receipt that was crumpled up. They only gave me a free desert. Never went back again. Darn thing was green and blended right in like it had been there for days.

Mexican restaurant had a center salad for everyone to pull from. Large roach came crawling out. Before anyone could complain the waitress swooped in, grabbed it, and was gone. They gave the entire table their meal's for free - but still charged for the beer and mix drinks (which was sizable ).

 

[e6mill]

I recall the 70s, when absolutely ANYTHING might find its way into a jello salad...

 

[Naugus]

I recall the 70s, when absolutely ANYTHING might find its way into a jello salad...

I've seen those culinary abominations... I think it was spawned from the dream of space-age food, where nutritional balance and portability was prioritized over edibility.

 

[aillz]

Was at my brokest in college $7 to my name, studied late and the caf closed so I had to go out, went to Wendy's for a 4 for 4, return to dorm, got high, bit sandwich, produced the LONGEST, CURLIEST hair from my mouth. Hold back barf, return to Wendys for free replacement, take off lettuce and tomato from original sandwich (where the hair was) and still ate it cause I'm a broke degen

 

[Gornpa]

I remember going to a Dairy Queen when I was young and ordering an Ice Cream in a cone, then leaving the DQ and having a taste of my Ice Cream just to have an absolutely sour taste fill my mouth. Why was the vanilla sour? It never was sour but that day, I certainly was...

 

[Dragonmede]

Most people that know me will not allow me to get anywhere near a kitchen. My reputation for bad food is Legendary.
Of the many cullinary failures in my life, I baked a dish of brownies that came out so hard you could made a bowling ball if you could figure out how to cut it.
I had to throw away the baking dish because the brownies were permabonded to the glass.
Inseparable. What a terrible waste of weed.

 

[kemad]

definitely avoid buffets. can't tell you the amount of times ive gotten sick/actively v*mitted after eating at one. especially now after covid? hundreds of people breathing on your food? miss me with that shit

 

[badboy696]

Was on a long travel, bought some Sandwiches and Drinks from Gas Station... Halfway into the Sandwich i was like, that sauce is kinda odd, whats going on here?
Stopped and looked into the Sandwich. I ate Mold. Literally mold. the chesse and the bread was moldy af... it was at night and i ate while driving. i am terrified to this very day.

 

[e6mill]

I remember going to a Dairy Queen when I was young and ordering an Ice Cream in a cone, then leaving the DQ and having a taste of my Ice Cream just to have an absolutely sour taste fill my mouth. Why was the vanilla sour? It never was sour but that day, I certainly was...

When the Gilroy, CA Garlic Festival was still a yearly thing I once had pesto ice cream. No joke.

 

[kemad]

When the Gilroy, CA Garlic Festival was still a yearly thing I once had pesto ice cream. No joke.

i genuinely cannot fathom what pesto ice cream would even begin to taste like. that's a cursed flavor combo if i've ever seen one

 

[Naugus]

Was on a long travel, bought some Sandwiches and Drinks from Gas Station... Halfway into the Sandwich i was like, that sauce is kinda odd, whats going on here?
Stopped and looked into the Sandwich. I ate Mold. Literally mold. the chesse and the bread was moldy af... it was at night and i ate while driving. i am terrified to this very day.

Either you got a heavy dose of raw penicillin, or killed most of you gut biome from that, I'd wager... Could be worse, coulda had mayo in it. Salmonella on a long drive sounds like fresh hell.

 

[Silicon12]

Went to this old lady selling fried chicken and fries, the fries were mid and kinda raw in the middle, but the chicken... man the breading on that shit was ROCK SOLID, it had a red color so I thought it was spicy, I can tolerate that, but in reality it was just the oil which looked so black it looked like coal tar, if you fucking saw how the ''oil'' she was pouring came down SLOW as fuck you would have vomited on the spot.... never ate there again and she lost her few clients, I wonder why

 

[malvius]

My family has a heavy tradition with potato dishes, everyone loves potatoes, so a new in-law decided to "be creative" with a potato salad one gathering, and rather than the tradtonal onion/dill relish/egg/mustard/etc, they decided to make it a healthy and sweet and used bread and butter relish, raisins, celery and some vegan egg alternative, holy hell was it total ass that no one touched