I have to do it -- I think it was my upbringing
"et cum spiritu tuo"
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Well I'm runnin' to the shop
Tryin' to purchase some pop
I got chips and salsa on my mind
Standing in the check out
Think my brains'll fall out
Lookin' at Enquirer headlines
Make it sleazy, make it sleazy
Don't add a modicum of truth
Keep it hazy
Writin' up Baretta's case
Speculate on Michael's face
And add some men from outer space
And make it sleazy
Well I'm lookin' at a tabloid in local 7-leven
And such a fine sight to see
It's Elvis my Lord
In a flat-bed Ford
Drivin' out to join the Queen for tea
C'mon Oprah - she's a doper?
I gotta know if it's in print
Must be the truth, huh?
We can read the latest cure
For our acne, cancer, AIDS and more
Just buy this herb from Singapore
Won't make you queasy
Well Madonna's seen a ghost
Lurking by her bedpost
Got a liposuction on her 'hind
Britney's looking horrid
Lipstick on her forehead
Can't 'make up her mind'
Make it sleazy, make it sleazy
"Made love with the other Monkees"
So says Davy....
C'mon headlines, meet those deadlines
I gotta know the latest scoop
And who it maligns
Oh they make it sleeeeeeazy
They gotta keep it sleeeeeeazy