Objective analysis with constructive suggestions: (English translation)
1. The phrasing seems as if it was directly translated without consideration for the nuances of the English language. Perhaps MTL? It could use some revision, especially in areas that use past/future/present-tense verbs (Example: coming, came, went, will go).
2. The quantity of girls is generous, to the point of confusion due to both unusual girl names as well as the suddenness of switching between them with little or no connection to the previous or next character. Sure, it's an introduction to them all, but could use some polishing.
3. Rene? Isn't that a girl's name? Until "he" shows up, we are not certain the girls are talking about a boy.
4. This is presented from an omniscient POV, not a first-person POV. No one has internal thoughts, only bluntly spoken dialogue.
5. The game ZIP FILE size is 543MB for around 3 minutes of gameplay. That includes 472 MB for 82 images. The images are all JPG 3840x2160 5MB-10MB per image. They could be converted to smaller resolution and WEBM format to reduce every image to less than 1MB each. If compressed, reduced, and converted to WEBM format, that would be around 40-60MB total for all current images.
I am not judging this game. It has promise, potential, and looks nice. I am simply presenting objective observations from a Native-English-speaking mid-western American POV.
Please take these analyses with a grain of salt. I look forward to the progression of the writing and art. I hope there will be animation and sound added (at least music, hopefully sound effects).