Personally I wish there were more choices in games for extreme violence. It's always either slapping/punching being the max or it's literally a snuff film simulator. There's not many games that allow for both ends of the spectrum
Violence in conjunction with sex is an instant turn off for me.
If it's not connexted to the sex, like in a fighting game where you can relax with a willing girl, that would be ok.
I'm not the biggest fan of things such as rape or torture but I definitely prefer when it's something like capturing an enemy soldier and doing things to them or when it's something where you are the more "ethical" one like raping someone who has done harm unto others.
Big Nay nay if its within a sex scene. If its outside of it, like a story related scene idc... Rape is ok if its not Necro stuff or extremely Gore i guess