Anyone got a good joke?

[BobbyBrown331]

And dont say, "try looking in the mirror," like my mom's boyfriend does.

(Fuck you Dean you're not my dad!)

 

[Landskrona84]

I have one but it would just go over your head

 

[hottyper]

Guy wakes up in ambulance... - where are you taking me?!
Driver says: - to the morque...
...: - But fellas im not dead yet...!!
Driver: - we havent arrived yet!!..

 

[Jamaal]

A priest and a rabbi are running out of a burning building. The priest turns to the rabbi and screams, "What about the children?" The rabbi screams, "F%ck the children!" The priest goes, "Do you think we have time?"

 

[Nuddhist Monk]

The definition of a good friend is someone who goes out and get's two blowjobs and then gives you one.

 

[Biksamaci]

Why do you never see hippos hiding in trees

Because they're very good at it.

 

[Flaming1]

Why can't Michael Jackson go within 500 yards of a school?

Because he's dead.

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[Jamaal]

A doctor tells his patient that he has cancer. The guy asks the doctor “Can I get a second opinion?” The doctor replies “You’re ugly too.”

 

[Flaming1]

What has 2 legs and bleeds?

Half of a dog.

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[User_65561]

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[Flaming1]

I still remember the day my sister and I got *extremely* drunk and would up fucking each other on an elevator.

It was wrong on so many levels.

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[Jamaal]

What does bill cosby and Santa have in common? They both come when you’re asleep

 

[Flaming1]

What's the difference between 3 cocks and a joke?

Your mom can't take a joke.

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[malvius]

Two fish are in a little tank
One looks over at the other and says:
"Dibs on gunner"

 

[Conan]

Bear: Hare! rock, scissors. or paper?

Hare: Rock!
Bear: you didn't guess!

 

[Jamaal]

Son: Hey mom, what is dark humor? Mom: Can you see that man over there with no arms, go tell him to clap. Son: But mom im blind. Mom: Exactly.

 

[gestved]

the price of the kilogram of potatoes on the supermarket are laughable

 

[Flaming1]

When is an elf not an elf?

When it's sucking your cock. Then it's a gobblin'

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[Jamaal]

What is opposite exorcism? When the Deamon tells the Priest, he should leave the Child!! Tadaaaa!

 

[Jamaal]

"Mammy mammy! Can I lick the bowl out?" "NO ! Flush it like other people!"